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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

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Students in some countries have to pay for higher education themselves,
while
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 it is the government's responsibility in other nations. The latter is beneficial because
because
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apply
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it encourages more
people
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 to
enroll
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enrol
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 in these institutes
,
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apply
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 and study without unnecessary financial worries.
This
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 essay will argue that these advantages take precedence over the few disadvantages that government support offers. To commence with, financial constraints are a frequent reason for some
people
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 to refrain from applying to colleges. Subsidized scholarships result in increased application rates from aspirants all over the world.
This
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 is supported by
researches
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research
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 proving that lack of money often pushes
people
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 to choose work rather than a diploma.
Moreover
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, students are better able to focus on their subject. They will spend time in libraries
instead
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 of searching for jobs to make ends meet.
For example
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, waiters in cafes are usually undergraduates, as it is the easiest job to secure without any experience. Proper funding alleviates these burdens;
therefore
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, it is better than youngsters doing odd jobs.
However
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, some might exploit
this
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 opportunity and choose to drop out. It is often seen that bright
people
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 get in, but cannot handle the pressure. In other circumstances, they simply stop taking an interest in studies.
For instance
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, freshmen get fascinated by parties and drop their grades
as a result
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. Sometimes, they even get expelled. If students
payed
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paid
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 for themselves, they would think twice before getting involved in
such
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 things.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 tend to change their profession once they have graduated. It can be
due to
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 saturation of jobs or
a
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apply
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personal experience. The rise of small businesses is an example, and it helps
people
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 work
according to
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 their own standards. Is
this
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 a positive trend? The answer is yes, but it means that the money spent on them was a waste.
To conclude
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,
governemnt
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government
 funding provides equal
opportunites
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opportunities
 and more time to focus. These positive aspects outweigh the occasional
study-gaps
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study gaps
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 and change of profession, which contribute to
exploitation
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the exploitation
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 of
such
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 resources.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Incorporating linking phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' can improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
For task achievement, while your response covers the topic well, adding more specific examples and statistics can strengthen your argument. Consider citing studies or real-world instances that more directly support your claims.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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