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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts below compare consumed and
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
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 resources by countries all over the
world
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 and the distribution of
population
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. It can be seen that the main expenditure of people in the
world
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 is food
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 transport.
While
Linking Words
 most people in the
world
Use synonyms
 live in Asia, they consume far
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 resources
that
Correct word choice
than
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European
Replace the word
Europeans
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 and
American
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Americans
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. The first chart provides us with the categories of
world
Use synonyms
 spending. People spend nearly a quarter of their money on food(24%).
Also
Linking Words
, 18% of their budget goes on transport. Housing accounted for 12% of the
Use synonyms
world
Change noun form
world's
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 expenditure, and only a tiny 6% of spending is devoted to clothing. The remaining of their budget is spent on others(40%). The second chart represents the distribution of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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. Asia has the
larget
Correct your spelling
largest
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 proportion of
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population
Add an article
the population
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 in the
world
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(57%). In the next level, America and Europe are
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
equal
 the most populated continents, with each of them consisting
14
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of 14
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% of
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Add an article
the world
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world
Change noun form
world's
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population
Use synonyms
. Only 10% of
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Add an article
the world
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world
Change noun form
world's
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population
Use synonyms
is living
Wrong verb form
lives
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 in Africa.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 of Asia is nearly two times more
that
Correct word choice
than
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 that of America and Europe, the majority of all resources
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 consumed in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and Europe(60%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • global spending
  • resource consumption
  • population distribution
  • key trends
  • leading consumers
  • correlate
  • disparities
  • significant
  • sustainability
  • economics
  • management
  • analysis
  • overview
  • implies
  • mismatch
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