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Band 4

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances. What are the causes of this phonomenon and what are the some of possible solution

#sports #athletes #substances #phonomenon
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Nowadays most
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of
ot
Correct word choice
apply
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professional
sport
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sports
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.there
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there
 is increase
of
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in
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 the
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singing act
singinfact
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significance
 of athletes using
a
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apply
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banned substances in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss the
problem
Use synonyms
 and solution
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
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 one There are
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 for
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these players
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player
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for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
: some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 in football
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
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 eat steroids because in the football match that
people
Use synonyms
 need to win
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 match But the
impact
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their
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them
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the
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 body that they will be bad for them because the
impact
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is not
isn't
isnot
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is not
 only
in
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on
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 the
Correct your spelling
studio
studim
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students
 after that
muybe
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maybe
they
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the manager
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manger
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manager
show examples
 will be tell
them
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the
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 cannot play because he uses a
banned
Replace the word
ban
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 in the play and dangerous for
this
Linking Words
 life more over some players are eating drug because that need to help them in the game that we will be a very
imapct
Correct your spelling
impact
 because there will be without brain and the
person
Use synonyms
 is
doning
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doing
 anything
for
Linking Words
example
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 there will be a
dangoures
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dangers
 for the
soiceaty
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society
 There
are
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is
show examples
 a solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
Correct your spelling
responsible
responsiblety
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responsibility
 for
this
Linking Words
person
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 the first
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solution
soution
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solution
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 who talk to
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
tell
show examples
teel
Correct your spelling
tell
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 them about if there are eating a
durg
Correct your spelling
drug
 or something bad so there can't join with team because
this
Linking Words
player
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
is impacted
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
player
Use synonyms
In addition
Linking Words
, the
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
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is
Verb problem
has
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super power
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superpower
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 about
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
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this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
 who eat a bad so the
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manager
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manger
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manager
show examples
is
Verb problem
does
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 not give them
salary
Add an article
a salary
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 every month that will
Correct your spelling
solution
souliton for
Verb problem
solve
show examples
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 If
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
polite
Add a missing verb
is polite
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so
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apply
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there will be
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 them mind or
brains
Fix the agreement mistake
brain
show examples
 and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 there will be a good
example
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 life
To sum up
Linking Words
 .the main point is the
Correct your spelling
majority
majorty
Correct your spelling
majority
 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 there will
impact
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 it is bad for
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 And the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 should not join with
this
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
 and they will
be change
Change the verb form
change
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 mind In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
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athletes
Add an article
the athletes
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 have a
problem
Use synonyms
 with
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 a banned thing ,so I hope in the future there will improve or promote
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 mind to
good
Add an article
a good
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
,that
people
Use synonyms
 should listen to the government and there will
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
good
example
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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