Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problem does this cause and what are the solutions.

The older
people
need employment but more
compation
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companion
competition
compassion
with young that because
the
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they
show examples
thinks that know about the
position
of the job more than the old
people
because
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do not
donot
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not
know about anything in
this
life
that is
from the young
people
thinks In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss the
problem
and
solution
in
this
essay
Firstly
there are
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lots
alots
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
Add an article
the problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
first is the old
people
must compete with young
people
for example
: the old
people
compation
Correct your spelling
competition
with young
people
about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
position
in
the
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a
show examples
private company the young
people
is coming manger and the older
people
is under that
Correct your spelling
problem
proplem
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problem
because the
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
donot
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do not
care about the old
people
so there will not polite with them
peolpe
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people
that is
a
problem
I hope in the future there will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
a
solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
muybe
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maybe
may be
the
people
will change Brian, There is a
solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
, the
youngman
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young man
should give the old
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
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people
area because
this
person is
Same
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the Same
show examples
Correct your spelling
their
thier
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their
parents age , it is important to polite and help them and
muybe
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maybe
there will win and
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
the
position
that is
fine ,they
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do not
donot
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do not
care about if the life because the employment
arenot
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are not
every time ,
threre
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there
will retire and miss the job but the reputation good and there will remember
thier
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their
friend and
that is
the life To sum
the
Change preposition
up the
show examples
main point is sometimes
the
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apply
show examples
young
people
are not polite with
a
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apply
show examples
old
people
, so it is bad so the
solution
is important to be polite , and the
position
isnnot
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is not
isn't
every time there will be
retir
Correct your spelling
retired
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
the young male will polite with old man
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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Logical Structure
Focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. In your introduction, directly address the topic and outline your main ideas. Each body paragraph should discuss one main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Finally, your conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your position.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
Make an effort to transition smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words (e.g., however, therefore, in addition) to help the reader follow your argument. This will also help you organize your thoughts more clearly.
Supported Main Points
Develop your points more fully with specific, detailed examples. Instead of general statements, illustrate your claims with concrete instances or hypothetical scenarios related to the employment challenges older people face.
Complete Response
Ensure your response directly addresses all parts of the task. It's important to discuss both the problems and the solutions related to older people competing with younger people for employment. Offer a balanced perspective by dedicating a similar amount of text to each.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clarity in your ideas and expressions. Break down your arguments into clear, comprehensible points. Avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader. Simplicity and clarity will greatly aid your reader's understanding.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. These examples help illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing. They demonstrate your understanding of the topic and enrich your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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