Although there are number of gyms, people are leading a sedentary lifestyle. Discuss the problems associated with these issues and give the solutions for the same.

#gyms #people #lifestyle

Besides

, a lot of gyms people have still unhealthy

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. There are two reasons for

this

problem

Firstly

the negative Life pattern.

Secondly

, increases

Correct article usage

the numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of fast food restaurants.

To sum up

, the government must take more regulations to solve

this

issue.

In addition

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Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to accurately convey your ideas. Avoid repetition and strive for clarity in expression.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

88 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although there are number of gyms, people are leading a sedentary lifestyle. Discuss the problems associated with these issues and give the solutions for the same.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?