On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter -describe the item you lost -explain how you lost it -tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.
Dear Mr Rawson,
I am writing
this
letter to inform that
I Correct pronoun usage
you that
have
lost my Unnecessary verb
apply
camera
during my trip to Paris. That camera
was valuable for me,
because it was my grandfather's present and it had Remove the comma
apply
a
many memorable pictures.
As you know, I have lost my handy item which was black Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
colorly
with Correct your spelling
colour
thick
, black belt. And Add an article
a thick
i
wrote my name with capital letters near the Change the capitalization
I
camera
's bottom. Every time when I travelled
somewhere, I Wrong verb form
travel
have
always bring my Unnecessary verb
apply
camera
, because I took
pictures of the fantastic places and huge buildings. It was Wrong verb form
take
a
very comfortable to carry everywhere you go.
Actually, I have always Change the article
apply
Add a missing verb
been carefully
carefully
with my personal things. But I Change the word
careful
have
shocked until now, how could I Verb problem
was
lost
my Wrong verb form
lose
camera
.
I spent my time with my some of friends during the day. And we were enjoying to see the attractive places which Change the punctuation
?
was
Change the verb form
were
very
best. After Correct article usage
the very
that
we went Add a comma
that,
to
shopping and I picked up a lot of clothes for Change preposition
apply
me
. I can't remember rightly which place I forgot it, because we had been Correct pronoun usage
myself
many
stores. And when I looked for my Change preposition
to many
camera
for
take Change preposition
to
Add an article
a photo
photo
with my besties , Fix the agreement mistake
photos
however
couldn't find it. One of my friends suddenly reported to the police about my lost Add the comma(s)
however,
camera
.
For you
Correct pronoun usage
your
kind
information, I have purchased your company's travel insurance for Correct word choice
apply
this
Paris. I hope you can read my report .
If you need any information , please do not hesitate to contact or email me. My email is phenome079menn.com.
Thank you!
Your
sincerely,
NozigulCorrect the word
Yours
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your letter clearly covers all points mentioned in the prompt. While you did address the loss of the camera and what action you'd like the insurance company to take, the explanation on how you lost it could be clearer and more precise. Rather than providing a general account of your day, focus on the moment you noticed the camera was missing and any steps taken to find it.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the flow of your letter. Use connecting words to improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea to maintain clarity. Additionally, consider a brief introductory sentence to each paragraph that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
Greeting & Closing
Considering greeting and closing, you followed a formal letter format well by including a salutation ('Dear Mr Rawson,') and signing off respectfully ('Your sincerely,'). To further refine, ensure the sign-off is correctly spelled as 'Yours sincerely,'.
Logical Structure
For logical structure, organize your letter in a clear, logical order: introduction, explanation of the item and how it was lost, followed by what you would like the insurance company to do. This helps the reader understand your points more easily.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clearly defined idea. This helps in maintaining the reader's attention and understanding of the letter. Revise any paragraphs that have multiple ideas to focus on just one.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.