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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 line graph provides the rate of individuals unemployed in Australia per
quarter
Use synonyms
 of the year in 2012.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 the highest rate of unemployment was in Rural places in the first period,
while
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 Urban
areas
Use synonyms
 were the lowest. It is interesting to notice that in the first
quarter
Use synonyms
, Urban
areas
Use synonyms
 had approximately 2.5 unemployment,
Whereas
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 in Rural places was around 6.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The proportion of unemployment increased slightly in the first
quarter
Use synonyms
. After that, there is a significant fall in the second
quarter
Use synonyms
 of the year.
Moreover
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, Rural
areas
Use synonyms
 had an increase in the same period.
For example
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, it was almost 4.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
then
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 increased to nearly 5.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in the following year.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a considerable rise in the Uban
areas
Use synonyms
 it was around 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
then
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 became 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in the same period. In conclusion, the lowest rate was in Urban
areas
Use synonyms
, but Rural places were the highest.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quarter, areas, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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