Many things that used to be done by hand are now being done by machines. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
First of
all
Add a comma
all,
machines
are made by humans. And only peolpe
can decide where should they use Correct your spelling
people
machines
in life. The main benefit of technologies
or robots
is, in some situations
Add a comma
situations,
peoples
can't work properly without using them. So Fix the agreement mistake
people
this
is the main cause why machines
and robots
have invented
. As someone Add a missing verb
been invented
said
"Laziness is the engine of progress". From my perspective Add the punctuation
said,
technologies
must be used in situations where people can't do anything.
In my view
the main advantage of Add a comma
view,
machines
and technologies
is, that they bring to our lives a lot of benefits and quality of life. To illustrate the underwater expeditions are carried out using high-tech robots
. In the
other Correct article usage
apply
words
only high Add a comma
words,
technologies
can bring us to the stars.
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
However
the main disadvantage of the
Correct article usage
apply
machines
, they
can replace Add a missing verb
is they
peoples
jobs and make them Change noun form
people's
uneployed
. Correct your spelling
unemployed
This
is the biggest problem in
nowadays. Change preposition
apply
Overall
this
problem spotted
in Add a missing verb
is spotted
the
countries with large economies. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
China, this
country is the most populous state with rich people. Anyway
Add the punctuation
Anyway,
chineses
have a lot of unemployed citizens. Correct your spelling
Chinese
Because
Correct word choice
Robots
robots
replaced police officers, shop assistances
, Correct your spelling
assistants
lawyer
Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
and
etc, and made them poor.
From my point of view Correct word choice
apply
machines
works and peolpes
jobs must balance Correct your spelling
people
between
each other.Change preposition
with
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in 'Task Achievement', it's crucial to fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Make sure to elaborate on your points more thoroughly and provide more specific, detailed examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For 'Coherence and Cohesion', focus on organizing your essay more logically and clearly. Your essay should include distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body (with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages), and conclusion. Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Logical Structure
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by developing a more clear and coherent argument structure. Each main idea should be explored within its own paragraph, supported by detailed examples, and clearly related back to the overall topic of the essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your main arguments and ends with a concise conclusion that summarizes your points. This helps in presenting a well-rounded discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.