Many things that used to be done by hand are now being done by machines. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
machines
are made by humans. And only
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
can decide where should they use
machines
in life. The main benefit of
technologies
or
robots
is, in some
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can't work properly without using them. So
this
is the main cause why
machines
and
robots
have
invented
Add a missing verb
been invented
show examples
. As someone
said
Add the punctuation
said,
show examples
"Laziness is the engine of progress". From my perspective
technologies
must be used in situations where people can't do anything. In my
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
the main advantage of
machines
and
technologies
is, that they bring to our lives a lot of benefits and quality of life. To illustrate the underwater expeditions are carried out using high-tech
robots
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
only high
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
can bring us to the stars.
However
the main disadvantage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machines
,
they
Add a missing verb
is they
show examples
can replace
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
jobs and make them
uneployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
.
This
is the biggest problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
Overall
this
problem
spotted
Add a missing verb
is spotted
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries with large economies.
For instance
China,
this
country is the most populous state with rich people.
Anyway
Add the punctuation
Anyway,
show examples
chineses
Correct your spelling
Chinese
have a lot of unemployed citizens.
Because
Correct word choice
Robots
show examples
robots
replaced police officers, shop
assistances
Correct your spelling
assistants
show examples
,
lawyer
Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc, and made them poor. From my point of view
machines
works and
peolpes
Correct your spelling
people
jobs must balance
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other.
Submitted by nigora1629 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in 'Task Achievement', it's crucial to fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Make sure to elaborate on your points more thoroughly and provide more specific, detailed examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For 'Coherence and Cohesion', focus on organizing your essay more logically and clearly. Your essay should include distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body (with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages), and conclusion. Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Logical Structure
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by developing a more clear and coherent argument structure. Each main idea should be explored within its own paragraph, supported by detailed examples, and clearly related back to the overall topic of the essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your main arguments and ends with a concise conclusion that summarizes your points. This helps in presenting a well-rounded discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • productivity
  • craftsmanship
  • displacement
  • hazardous
  • occupational hazards
  • investment
  • efficiency
  • manual skills
  • automated
  • non-renewable resources
  • electronic waste
  • accessibility
  • quality of life
  • innovations
  • convenient
  • comfortable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: