Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Many
workers
prefer spending their free
time
alongside their co-
workers
,
on the other hand
, other
individuales
Correct your spelling
individuals
rather spend it with different types of people, maintaining a professional barrier that divides
work
life
from personal
life
. From my perspective,
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
separate social
circles
could refresh and
interconect
Correct your spelling
interconnect
with different people and their perspectives,
as well as
avoid certain practices
such
as gossip that could lead to
a bad outcomes
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad outcomes
a bad outcome
show examples
in the
work
environment.
Work
and personal
life
constitute two different things. It is common to
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
good and respectful relationships with
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
,
however
, to extend these formal traits and social
circles
after
work
could mean
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just
revolve
Wrong verb form
revolving
show examples
around the same
topics
and interactions that are aborded at
work
.
According to
a study conducted by VOX,
workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
would preserve their
work
circles
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their leisure
time
, tend to close off to new opinions and ideas that did not actually relate to their careers or hustles,
as well as
a feeling of "overwhelming", noticing a decrease on dopamine levels.
This
study was contrasted with the opinion of
workers
with separate social
circles
, and almost 90% agreed that their conversations revolved around different
topics
, enhancing their perspective on
life
,
as well as
creating a feeling of
confort
Correct your spelling
comfort
or happiness, evidentiated in their dopamine levels which were much higher than the later ones.
Moreover
, the boundaries and limits for conversations outside of
work
with actual colleagues are rather strict,
poiting
Correct your spelling
pointing
out
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the consequences of,
for example
, talking down or spreading
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
show examples
about a manager.
This
could lead to terrible consequences
such
as a demotion or in the worst case scenario, an
inmeadite
Correct your spelling
immediate
expulsion.
Workers
must be aware of their words or opinions around
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, even outside of
work
, and that certainly limits the conversation
topics
or at least, creates a palpable tension during
off
Add a hyphen
off-time
show examples
time
meetings.
This
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been proved by a group of
psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
show examples
from the University of Irvine, California. In a recent study (published in 2024), they concluded that most of the out-of-
work
reunions that
workers
had on a weekly basis created a toxic environment around the
work
placement.
This
environment, caused by certain
workers
,
consequently
led to a remarkable
laid off
Add a hyphen
laid-off
show examples
or probation
time
for them. In conclusion,
while
others may prefer to explore and
stregthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
work
relations by gathering outside
work
with their colleagues, I
certanly
Correct your spelling
certainly
opt for
mainting
Correct your spelling
maintaining
a
well structured
Add a hyphen
well-structured
show examples
balance between
work
life
and personal
life
.
To separate
Fix the infinitive
Separate
show examples
them, could enhance people's perspective from
topics
outside their daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
or themes covered at
work
,
enrinching
Correct your spelling
enriching
entrenching
their view on
life
,
as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prevent any sort of unethical practices that could
ensue
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
bad outcomes in the future, regarding their job status. To have stable and healthy friendgroups should be a guarantee to be free to speak, or think certain things, seizing every exchange or reunion to the maximum.
Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help orient the reader.
coherence cohesion
While your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, refine them to more clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. This strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided support for your main points effectively. To further enhance this, integrate more varied examples and evidence, including statistics or personal anecdotes, to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
To fully complete the response, ensure that each aspect of the question is addressed directly and elaborated on. It's good practice to restate and directly answer the question in both the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You've done well to present clear and comprehensive ideas. For improvement, consider deepening your analysis of these ideas. Exploring implications or counterarguments can add depth to your essay.
task achievement
Integrating relevant and specific examples has strengthened your essay. To further enhance this, consider drawing on a wider range of sources or including personal experiences that illustrate your points in a unique way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmonious environment
  • effective collaboration
  • socializing
  • fostering
  • outlet for stress
  • blurring boundaries
  • privacy concerns
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • multinational companies
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • teamwork
What to do next:
Look at other essays: