IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages?

#people #variety #food #areas #regions #trend #disadavantages
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It is generally true that people can consume various
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 which
are came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from different
countries
 and
for
this
 reason, they tend to eat less local
food
. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
this
 tendency has more negative effects than its
possitve
Correct your spelling
positive
 effects.
This
 essay will indicate
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of
taking
Verb problem
eating
show examples
 foreign
food
 and why
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 outweigh the advantages.
To begin
 with, consuming
food
 from a variety of places is harmful for
Correct article usage
the enviornment
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In order to eat foreign
food
, they should be transported long distances by airline and ship. These transportations need
immence
Correct your spelling
immense
 fuel to send the products
due to
 their size and a large amount of baggage.
Moreover
, using tons of fuel makes huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of carbon dioxide gas, which is known as greenhouse gases.
In addition
,
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 of carbon dioxide can
occur
Verb problem
cause
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 air pollution and
this
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 in not only serious
enviornmental issuse
Correct your spelling
environmental issues
,
such
 as global warming, but
also
 disease
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the repiration
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repiration
Correct your spelling
respiration
 system.
Furthermore
,
food
 from different
region
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regions
show examples
deteriorate
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deteriorates
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 economy. In developing
countries
,
manufacturer
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manufacturers
show examples
 can employ workers at a cheap salary.
This
 situation makes
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 fees of
food
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cheaper than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first and second
countries
.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reasons
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reason
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, local merchants
such
 as mom-and-pops may suffer from cheaper price
food
 manufactured in other nations.
For example
, in the Republic of Korea, there are plenty of fruits
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from developing
countries
such
 as mango, which are selling
less
Change preposition
at less
show examples
 than half
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
apple
Fix the agreement mistake
apples
show examples
 from Korea. In conclusion,
enviornmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems and cheap prices which can treat local
merchant
Fix the agreement mistake
merchants
show examples
 are the most noticeable
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
 of
food
 from different
countries
. I think that importing
food
 from
other region
Change the wording
another region
other regions
show examples
 should be limited by the government.
Submitted by benheo5936 on

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logical structure
Focus on clearly organizing your essay. Include an introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs each focusing on a single main idea with supporting examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay prompt. Restate the question in your own words in the introduction, present your stance, and summarize your main arguments in the conclusion.
supported main points
Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point. Provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and easier to follow.
complete response
Respond to all parts of the task. Ensure that you address the prompt completely, including discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, and whether one outweighs the other.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully with clear explanation and specific examples. Avoid general statements. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to understand.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to strengthen your points. Ensure these examples directly relate to the topic and clearly illustrate the argument you’re making.
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