Some people consider corruption to be the root cause of problems in government organizations and politics. What problems arise due to this corruption? What are possible solutions to eradicate corruption.
Some
people
believe that corruption is the reason for issues in government
establishments and political offices. There are some problems because of this
which are unfair distribution of services and distrust among people
. However
, there are some possible solutions which help in eradicating bribery.
Taxpayers of a government
expect certain things from public officials
since they are paying taxes to get these benefits . But with corruption the services and resources for the public are unfairly distributed, resulting in distrust and anger towards these corrupted officers among the public. Additionally
, briberies
can create cycles where the Correct your spelling
bribes
government
or companies demand money or other benefits from the public. Moreover
, they feel they are entitled or proud to accept these offerings.
Establishing a certain set of rules can help in inducing fear in these people
. The government
can start counter-attacking this
problem by forming an anti-corruption organization. These programs can keep an eye on these officials
and make sure they are following the rules. Recently there were some incidents, where 15 bureaucrats were caught accepting money and imprisoned by some organizations. To add more, journalists can help raise a voice and educate society about the issues happening within these offices. A journalist from a popular news channel conducted an undercover operation as a normal citizen to observe the officials
and the video he released has caused a debate among people
. While
this
can help the people
, it is also
important to encourage the public to report the officials
demanding money to
these organizations.
In conclusion, extortion is happening a lot in the public and political offices because of the entitlement of these civil servants by creating cycles in organizations extorting society and not providing resources to the citizens properly. These problems can be solved by punishing the corrupt officers and raising awareness in Change preposition
from
people
.Submitted by Devika on
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task well with some specific examples and clear points. However, try to elaborate more on your key points and develop them further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow of ideas can be improved. Consider using more transition words to link ideas together smoothly.
task achievement
Though the main points are supported, adding more detailed evidence and examples will strengthen your essay. Try to include more real-world examples or data to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the undercover journalist investigation, provide relevant support for your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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