Some people consider corruption to be the root cause of problems in government organizations and politics. What problems arise due to this corruption? What are possible solutions to eradicate corruption.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that corruption is the reason for issues in
government
Use synonyms
establishments and political offices. There are some problems because of
this
Linking Words
which are unfair distribution of services and distrust among
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are some possible solutions which help in eradicating bribery. Taxpayers of a
government
Use synonyms
expect certain things from public
officials
Use synonyms
since they are paying taxes to get these benefits . But with corruption the services and resources for the public are unfairly distributed, resulting in distrust and anger towards these corrupted officers among the public.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
briberies
Correct your spelling
bribes
show examples
can create cycles where the
government
Use synonyms
or companies demand money or other benefits from the public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they feel they are entitled or proud to accept these offerings. Establishing a certain set of rules can help in inducing fear in these
people
Use synonyms
. The
government
Use synonyms
can start counter-attacking
this
Linking Words
problem by forming an anti-corruption organization. These programs can keep an eye on these
officials
Use synonyms
and make sure they are following the rules. Recently there were some incidents, where 15 bureaucrats were caught accepting money and imprisoned by some organizations. To add more, journalists can help raise a voice and educate society about the issues happening within these offices. A journalist from a popular news channel conducted an undercover operation as a normal citizen to observe the
officials
Use synonyms
and the video he released has caused a debate among
people
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
can help the
people
Use synonyms
, it is
also
Linking Words
important to encourage the public to report the
officials
Use synonyms
demanding money
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
these organizations. In conclusion, extortion is happening a lot in the public and political offices because of the entitlement of these civil servants by creating cycles in organizations extorting society and not providing resources to the citizens properly. These problems can be solved by punishing the corrupt officers and raising awareness in
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Devika  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response addresses the task well with some specific examples and clear points. However, try to elaborate more on your key points and develop them further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow of ideas can be improved. Consider using more transition words to link ideas together smoothly.
task achievement
Though the main points are supported, adding more detailed evidence and examples will strengthen your essay. Try to include more real-world examples or data to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the undercover journalist investigation, provide relevant support for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rule of law
  • inefficient resource allocation
  • economic development
  • cynicism
  • distrust
  • governmental institutions
  • distorts market mechanisms
  • foreign investments
  • legislative frameworks
  • transparent laws
  • monitoring and enforcement mechanisms
  • anti-corruption bodies
  • culture of integrity
  • ethical behavior
  • public campaigns
  • accessibility
  • protection
  • whistleblowers
  • retaliation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: