IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

you have heard that a developer how you heard about the plan. Write a letter to the council. In your letter . -say how you heard about the plan. -explain how you feel about it. -ask for more information about it.

#developer #plan #council #-say #-explain #-ask #information
Dear Sir or Madam, The purpose of writing
this
 letter of complaint is that
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 mall is going to build in our
neihgbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 but we have some issues. I read
this
 news in the local newspaper today and I am writing to you.
This
 news was rather
surprise
Correct article usage
a surprise
show examples
 to me. I have been living in "Gulzor"for two years now and it has always been a very quiet
neihgbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 with very few tall buildings. These tall buildings have a great impact on the atmosphere of our
neihgbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
.
Besides
 that,I spoke with the residents of our
neihgbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 and we are against the construction of
this
 shopping centre. I think people who live in the area have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to know
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more about the plan.So we want to know the height and size of
this
 building before construction of the building. You wanted
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us to see the reasons why there is not enough water in our
neihgbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
also
 we hope you will grant us
this
 request. Thanks for your time. Yours faithfully, Norquvvatova Shahrizoda
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Specifically, more explicit explanation of your feelings about the plan and a clearer request for specific information would make your response more complete.
task achievement
For a more suitable writing tone, adopt a more formal and less conversational style. This can be done by using more formal vocabulary and avoiding contractions ('we're' to 'we are', for example).
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence to outline the main idea, and ensure that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that each paragraph flows into the next by using linking words or phrases ('Furthermore', 'In addition', 'However', etc.). This will make your letter easier to follow and your arguments more cohesive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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