SOME PEOPLE SAY IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP YOUR HOME AND YOUR WORKPLACE TIDY, WITH ORGANISED AND IN THE CORRECT PLACE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ABOUT THIS?

We are liveing in morden town. There are all
fecility
Correct your spelling
facility
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
available. Some
People
shops
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shop
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online and other
people
buy your
shoping
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shopping
to
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at
show examples
reatils
Correct your spelling
retails
and
other shop
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another shop
other shops
show examples
like shopping malls and Reatils outlets. To Comments with, Online shopping
marker
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markers
show examples
are growing day by
das
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day
show examples
There are
lost
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lots
show examples
of
person
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people
show examples
shopping online. In
this
essay. I will discuss some pros and cons in
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
paragraph. On the side of coins, There are many
socity's
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societies
society's
and family purchase their
glocery
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grocery
glory
by online. Because They save a
lost
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lot
show examples
of
time
and save money. All
type
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types
show examples
of variety are
avelable
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available
. There are many application
are
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apply
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avelable
Correct your spelling
available
in our market like
amezone
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Amezone
show examples
and
Flipcart
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Flipkart
and
mytra
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Mytra
show examples
. As a reason, Many
people
Wrong verb form
work
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working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
all
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day
show examples
day's
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day
show examples
they have do not
time
to buy shopping in
Replace the word
retail
show examples
retails
Replace the word
retail
show examples
shops. And they have
purched
Correct your spelling
purchased
in. online in some application.
As a result
, Online shopping
save
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saves
show examples
lost
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lots
show examples
of money Because They have many schemes
in
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apply
show examples
some credit cars and debit
card
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cards
show examples
and
coupon
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coupons
show examples
.
Second
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The second
A second
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reason
, All
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is, All
show examples
products
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product
show examples
details are
avelable
Correct your spelling
available
in one solicitation. On the other
sidwe
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side
of
coin
Add an article
the coin
a coin
show examples
, There are many advantages to buying
retails
Wrong verb form
retail
show examples
shope
Correct your spelling
shops
. Because some
family
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families
show examples
and society
working
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work
show examples
all
days
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day
show examples
and they
have
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have to
show examples
do not
time
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have time
show examples
to sales shopping
mall
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malls
show examples
and our outlet shops. Second shopping
mall
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malls
show examples
and outlet
shope's
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shope
show examples
price
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prices
show examples
are costly, For explain, Retails
shopr
Correct your spelling
shop
shops
are very expensive and It will take a lot of
time
.
Hence
, some
people
believe that offline shopping is good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Because A selection can be made by looking at the item there.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a technology world. Many
people
believe that online shopping is Better for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and many online shopping
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
in our city.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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task response
Review the essay prompt carefully and ensure your essay addresses the topic directly. The essay provided discusses online vs. retail shopping, which does not directly respond to the prompt about the importance of keeping your home and workplace tidy. Understanding and sticking to the topic is crucial for a good score.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall coherence and cohesion by planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details. Use connecting words (e.g., however, furthermore, in contrast) to link ideas and paragraphs together.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that states your opinion on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Both introduction and conclusion are essential for structuring your essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Frequent errors can distract from your message and reduce the coherence of your essay. Consider using spell-check tools and reviewing grammar rules.
task response
Use specific examples to support your points. While your essay mentions the advantages and disadvantages of online and retail shopping, make sure to directly connect your examples and explanations to the essay topic. Specific examples make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
What to do next:
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