IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE SAY IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP YOUR HOME AND YOUR WORKPLACE TIDY, WITH ORGANISED AND IN THE CORRECT PLACE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ABOUT THIS?

#people #home #workplace #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
We are liveing in morden town. There are all
fecility
Correct your spelling
facility
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 available. Some
People
shops
Correct subject-verb agreement
shop
show examples
 online and other
people
 buy your
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
reatils
Correct your spelling
retails
 and
other shop
Change the wording
another shop
other shops
show examples
 like shopping malls and Reatils outlets. To Comments with, Online shopping
marker
Fix the agreement mistake
markers
show examples
 are growing day by
das
Correct your spelling
day
show examples
 There are
lost
Correct your spelling
lots
show examples
 of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 shopping online. In
this
 essay. I will discuss some pros and cons in
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
 paragraph. On the side of coins, There are many
socity's
Correct your spelling
societies
society's
 and family purchase their
glocery
Correct your spelling
grocery
glory
 by online. Because They save a
lost
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
time
 and save money. All
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of variety are
avelable
Correct your spelling
available
. There are many application
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
avelable
Correct your spelling
available
 in our market like
amezone
Change the capitalization
Amezone
show examples
 and
Flipcart
Correct your spelling
Flipkart
 and
mytra
Change the capitalization
Mytra
show examples
. As a reason, Many
people
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 all
Change noun form
day
show examples
day's
Change noun form
day
show examples
 they have do not
time
 to buy shopping in
Replace the word
retail
show examples
retails
Replace the word
retail
show examples
 shops. And they have
purched
Correct your spelling
purchased
 in. online in some application.
As a result
, Online shopping
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
lost
Correct your spelling
lots
show examples
 of money Because They have many schemes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some credit cars and debit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and
coupon
Fix the agreement mistake
coupons
show examples
.
Second
Add an article
The second
A second
show examples
 reason
, All
Add a missing verb
is, All
show examples
products
Change the noun form
product
show examples
 details are
avelable
Correct your spelling
available
 in one solicitation. On the other
sidwe
Correct your spelling
side
 of
coin
Add an article
the coin
a coin
show examples
, There are many advantages to buying
retails
Wrong verb form
retail
show examples
shope
Correct your spelling
shops
. Because some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and society
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 all
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 and they
have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
 do not
time
Add a missing verb
have time
show examples
 to sales shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 and our outlet shops. Second shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 and outlet
shope's
Change noun form
shope
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 are costly, For explain, Retails
shopr
Correct your spelling
shop
shops
 are very expensive and It will take a lot of
time
.
Hence
, some
people
 believe that offline shopping is good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Because A selection can be made by looking at the item there.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a technology world. Many
people
 believe that online shopping is Better for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and many online shopping
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 in our city.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Review the essay prompt carefully and ensure your essay addresses the topic directly. The essay provided discusses online vs. retail shopping, which does not directly respond to the prompt about the importance of keeping your home and workplace tidy. Understanding and sticking to the topic is crucial for a good score.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall coherence and cohesion by planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details. Use connecting words (e.g., however, furthermore, in contrast) to link ideas and paragraphs together.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that states your opinion on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Both introduction and conclusion are essential for structuring your essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Frequent errors can distract from your message and reduce the coherence of your essay. Consider using spell-check tools and reviewing grammar rules.
task response
Use specific examples to support your points. While your essay mentions the advantages and disadvantages of online and retail shopping, make sure to directly connect your examples and explanations to the essay topic. Specific examples make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: