Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend?

Culture
is a way of life. It varies from
place
to
place
based on festivals, clothing, cuisine and many more factors. Over
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
two decades, we have witnessed more and more
people
adapting to
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
from other
countries
profusely for reasons varying from fascination and admiration towards a particular
culture
, to
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
show examples
with the
people
around you and
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
complex cultural skills.
To Begin
With, we have been witnessing
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
festivals
countries
Change preposition
in countries
show examples
across the globe being celebrated in organisations in a particular
country
to give the feeling of inclusiveness to the expatriates from other
countries
and to connect with them in a better way.
In a
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A
show examples
study made by Business Economic Times showed that 82
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of organisations across
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
had provided flexible leave options for employees to select days
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
to celebrate holidays pertaining to their
culture
. Providing options
such
as the above enables expatriates to feel more comfortable and
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
appreciative towards the
people
around them. Food and clothing
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
cultural
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
which have been shared among
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
countries
nowadays. More and more restaurants and outlets from
diffrent ccountries
Correct your spelling
different countries
are established in others in order to cater to the public which nowadays is a mixture of
people
from
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
ethnicities. The Annual Restaurant Report from
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
highlighed
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highlighted
that there were an average of 32-38%
indian
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Indian
show examples
, 15-17%
italian
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Italian
show examples
and 23-30%
chinese
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Chinese
show examples
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
in any particular state across the
country
.
However
, there are some
statesment
Correct your spelling
statesmen
statements
statement
who oppose the view of cultural adaptation
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
countries
for the reason that it would lead to losing
identity
Correct article usage
the identity
show examples
and native
culture
of a certain
place
which was put in
place
by their ancestors. Cultural Director of Arts Foundation , Denver published an article which stated "We have to protect our
country
from losing its
culture
to other
countries
" which offended a lot of
people
in and around the
country
.
According to
my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
feel that it is a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
trend that
people
across the globe are willing to accept and learn
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
of
people
who are from other nationalities. We can make our world a better
place
to live if we continue to have a shared and inclusive environment going forward.
Submitted by keerthy9209 on

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Task Achievement
Introduction and conclusion are well-defined, but the introduction could provide a clearer statement of your position. While you briefly mentioned viewpoints, a more explicit thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas, but sometimes the link between them is a bit abrupt. Transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Conversely', or 'As a result' can help make these transitions smoother.
Task Achievement
You’ve provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is excellent. To further improve, ensure that every example directly ties back to your main argument, reinforcing the message you want to convey.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay does maintain logical structure, working on smoother transitions and more varied sentence structures could improve the readability and flow of your writing.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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