In some places old age is valued, while in other culture youth is considered more importance. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

#places #age #culture #youth #importance

Some

Change preposition

In some

show examples

areas the elderly

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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appreciated

whereas

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others believe that adolescents are the need of cities.

However

, from prior experience, it is more beneficial to choose young people

due to

the

creative

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creativity

show examples

and the

full

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apply

show examples

of energy

from

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apply

show examples

the youth, despite those who believe more

experiences

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experience

show examples

job

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the job

a job

show examples

from

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apply

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

old age. It must be understood that the creativity of young

persons

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people

show examples

is the main determinant factor to the development of cities.

This

due to

the products or the ideas in the society. With

this

in mind, new ideas which

suitable

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are suitable

show examples

with

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for

show examples

the

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apply

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society are

help

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helping

show examples

people

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are

show examples

more convenient and

save in

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saving

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time

For instance

, automatic machines are

the

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apply

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devices which help citizen with saving their

time

and

improving

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improve

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the

exactly

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exact

show examples

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apply

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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process

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processes

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Thus

, juveniles will be a rich

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apply

show examples

sources

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source

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the

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apply

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improvement in countries in the future.

However

, some people think that

adulthood

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adults

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have more personal knowledge which will have to help

a lots

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a lot

lots

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of things in the company.

This

is a belief that

adulthood

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adults

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have methods which help companies complete in a short

time

without

waste of

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wasting

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their

time

. There are

right

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rights

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to a certain extent, but these things can be solved by

the

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apply

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machines or

the

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apply

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careful investigation before doing missions. From

this

writer’s experience, teenagers are a good age at being enthusiastic in

job

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the job

a job

show examples

. It can be recognized that citizens

work

almost a day or bring heavy things.

Moreover

, they gain knowledge about technology in a short

time

and can

work

easily with

high tech

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high-tech

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devices.

For instance

American

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Americans

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have to

work

nearly 12 hours

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apply

show examples

each day and they must

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apply

show examples

work

at home to complete their

job

Hence

this

writer totally

agree

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agrees

show examples

with

Change preposition

that

show examples

teenagers

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more crucial than senior citizens. Clearly,

this

essay has shown that the main factors which impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the development of the cities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

juveniles by

the

Change the word

their

show examples

creative

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

, enthusiasm and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge of technology.

Therefore

, senior citizens have more

experieces

Correct your spelling

experiences

experience

from their working

time

Tue Feb 27 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to better outline your main points. This will make the logic and flow of your ideas more apparent.

Task Achievement

Include a balanced discussion of both views before providing your opinion. This ensures that the essay fully responds to all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop your introduction and conclusion more thoroughly to provide a clear overview of your essay’s main points and a concise summary at the end.

Task Achievement

Use specific real-world examples to illustrate your points. While you've included examples, they could be refined and provided with more context or data to bolster your arguments.

General Advice

Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing. Frequent errors can distract from your message and reduce the essay's overall effectiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some places old age is valued, while in other culture youth is considered more importance. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?