In some place old age is valued , while in other cultures youth is considered important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In the modern day, there are people who hold the opinion that the elder is prized
due to
their social experience
while
the
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think that the youth is the main essential energy for the world.
This
writer agrees with the latter statement and will explain in the following essay. There can be no doubt that mature individuals have more personal
life
experiences which are necessary and useful for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Moreover
, they are
also
knowledgeable about how to deal with bad situations and stressful conditions so the elderly can teach it to the next generation or dedicate their skill to society.
Conversely
, their dedication may lend a hand to put up the way of
life
. Take Toni Morrison as a good example , her innovation contributed a lot to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
life
and it
also
helped her to win the Nobel
prizes
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Prize
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in the year of 1961.
In contrast
, Youngsters are considered
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important age group in some cultures
due to
their energy. The youth is flexible with various situations and they can
also
deal with problems in a positive way.
As a result
, they can be considered in a lot of workplaces
due to
their energetic ability.
Furthermore
, young people are more active and
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
strong compared with the elderly so they can take part in the activities which need to use their health.
For example
, the team named “Freshwater” gathered a group of teenagers is
try
Wrong verb form
tried
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their best to make the rivers
in
Correct word choice
apply
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there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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clean, which is
the
Rephrase
why the
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elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders
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do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not enough strong to take part in that activity. It is the opinion of the writer that the youth have their own energy and passion, which help them to establish a higher standard of living for themselves and their families.
Also
, the younger is a greater emphasis on innovation and progress. Young people nowadays are seen as the future of the world
due to
their contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
. I believe that they will contribute the most in all likelihood. In conclusion,
although
the elder
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more personal experience and wisdom which dedicate a lot to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society , youngsters will contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
world
due to
their knowledge about various technological revolutions.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. This will help readers understand your stance from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your essay in a more organized manner, separating each idea into its own paragraph. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
task response
Develop your points with more detailed examples. Specific examples strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and punctuation to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task response
To better engage with the essay prompt, ensure a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. This will fully address the task's requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • respected
  • accumulated
  • heritage
  • patriarchs
  • matriarchs
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • trends
  • dynamic
  • heritage
  • progress
  • continuity
  • traditions
  • harmonious
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