Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s globalized world, it must be admitted that
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
industry
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a significant role in
Correct article usage
an individuales
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individuales
Correct your spelling
individual
life more than ever.
While
some
people
believe that advertising tempts
people
, others think that
this
industry
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a positive impact on
people
’s
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
. I agree with those who believe that adverts are a typical part of our life and they are beneficial for us. Some argue that advertising would manipulate
people
with fancy images and exaggerate appearance to sell more and more their
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
.
This
exaggeration not only
lead
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leads
show examples
to the waste of money
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
persuade
Correct subject-verb agreement
persuades
show examples
people
to buy something that they do not require to. Some negative reviews
in
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on
show examples
online shopping websites
shows
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show
show examples
that many
people
in particular
women,
falling
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
victims
Fix the agreement mistake
victim
show examples
of
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to
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adverts just
due to
the preparing
high-demand
Correct your spelling
demand
show examples
for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
spacial products
a spacial product
show examples
spacial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
products in social media from companies.
However
, others are of the opinion that advertising industries help consumers to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thoughtful
purchesing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
choices by informing them about the
efficency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
efficacy
of the product. Modern businesses could provide some essential information with
spacial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
details to illustrate why
this
object
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
worth
Correct pronoun usage
worth it
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
selling method might offer
discount
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discounts
show examples
or even alternative
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affordable
purches
Correct your spelling
prices
.
For instance
, Apple company, by displaying the function of a new arrival gadget ,
smart
Correct article usage
a smart
show examples
watch, on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deep water, in many online platforms and billboards around the world, succeeded
to became
Change preposition
in becoming
show examples
popular
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
many
people
who
fan
Wrong verb form
are fans
show examples
of waterproof watches. In general, despite the negative points of advertising, I still think that advertising
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
us to
feeling
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feel
show examples
less
confuse
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confused
show examples
when it comes to
purchesing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
as it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
us to buy with open eyes.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Grammar & Typos
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical mistakes and typos, as they can slightly distract from your overall message.
Vocabulary & Transition
Try to use a wider range of transitional phrases and vocabulary to enhance the flow of your essay. It will make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
Examples & Detail
Keep developing your argument with clear examples. While you provided some examples, more precise and detailed examples will strengthen your argument.
Structure & Clarity
You presented a clear structure in your essay by discussing both views and providing your opinion, making it easy to follow.
Paragraph Use
You effectively used paragraphs to organize your thoughts, which helped in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion neatly summarises your stance, providing a clear closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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