Many peole now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and trasportation. Do the advantages of this devlopment outweight the disadvantages.
Nowadays, with the advances in
technology
it is very convenient to move around the town and Add a comma
technology,
work
from distance
. Correct article usage
a distance
This
is very beneficial in terms of saving time and money. Not long ago, this
was not possible due to
the lack of development in human minds.
Firstly
, it is safe to say that there are many benefits behind
the fact that everyone Change preposition
to
could
choose where they Wrong verb form
can
work
and live. Unlike in old times, people’s decisions don’t lie in the hands of their parents or guardians. It was very common that
children Correct word choice
for
were
forced to Change the verb form
to be
work
in places that their parents would choose. Although
parents thought they are
doing the right thing, sometimes it was against the will of their little ones. Right now though, old people start realizing that it is right for them to decide where to Wrong verb form
were
work
or live on their own. Additionally
, there are particular jobs that allow people to work
from distance
which is advantageous since there are no transportation costs. Those who Correct article usage
a distance
work
in these type
of venturesFix the agreement mistake
types
,
have a wider choice of deciding on where to live.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, there are a few limitations to this
fact. If a person doesn’t work
on a long distance
job they would still have to pay transportation fees, Add a hyphen
long-distance
either
it’s their own car or public transportation, doesn’t matter. The choice of deciding where to live will Correct word choice
whether
also
be limited since it will depend on where they work
.
In conclusion, the advances in technology bring a lot of good opportunities and the progress made is amazing however
there are still factors that need to be reconsidered.Submitted by muradismailbayli on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of what will be discussed. While your introduction mentions the advances in technology, it could be more explicit about how it directly relates to the freedom to work and live anywhere.
Logical Structure
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas. Each paragraph should revolve around one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Supported Main Points
Although your main points are relevant, they could be supported by more specific examples and elaboration. Instead of stating general benefits or disadvantages, try to give concrete examples or case studies that illustrate your points.
Complete Response
Address the task more directly by explicitly discussing the advantages and disadvantages related to the freedom to work and live anywhere due to technological advances. Then, clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the question asks.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clarity in your ideas. While your essay mentions important aspects of the topic, the connection between them can sometimes be clearer. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas.
Relevant Specific Examples
Utilize more detailed and relevant examples. To strengthen your argument, include specific instances or data where the advances in technology have significantly impacted people’s ability to work and live in different places.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.