IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The picture below shows Bell Hill farm in 1976 and the changes that took place in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

#picture #bell #hill #farm #changes #place #summarise #information #features #comparison
The map indicates the changes in Bell Hill
farm
 over a 30-year period.
Overall
, it can be seen that the area witnessed dramatic changes over three decades, especially when the
farm
 was completely transformed into an
Environment Centre
Replace the word
environmental centre
show examples
. In 1976 there was a farmyard in the middle and it was totally replaced by a recreation area in 2006.
Additionally
, the barn, which was behind the farmyard in 1976 was converted multimedia room in 2006.
Moreover
, in 1976 north side of the
farm
 contained cowsheds and a chicken area.
In contrast
, it was removed and a new student housing was built in 2006.
In addition
, a farmhouse was situated east side and remained a constant place until 2006.
On the other hand
, the storage for
farm
 machinery was on the southwest angle and redeveloped into car parking.
Finally
, the roads on the southeast angle were
also
 not altered and remained similar in 1976.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Clearly specify the introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. An effective introduction sets the context and mentions what the essay will talk about. A conclusion should summarise the main points and restate the overall trend or change.
coherence
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to help the essay flow better. Currently, the essay jumps from one point to another abruptly. More transitional phrases and linkers would improve readability.
support
Support your main points with more detailed examples. While the essay mentions the changes in a straightforward manner, elaborating with more specifics can enhance understanding and engagement.
overview
Enhance the overview by mentioning the most significant changes or trends. While a general summary is present, highlighting the key transformations adds depth to your overview.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: