IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everythin organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about it?

#people #home #workplace #everythin #place
Our home is the mirror of our personality. Few people think that it's necessary to keep house and working areas clean and
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
are organize
Change the verb form
are organized
are organizing
show examples
. I strongly agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 as home and
workingplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
working place
 are the places we usually
occupied
Wrong verb form
occupy
show examples
.
Home
Fix the agreement mistake
Homes
show examples
 with organized
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 are appealing to the eyes, easy to move around the areas and immediately find things needed.
For example
, shoes and clothes have each cabinet, food supplies and other kitchen essentials
place
Wrong verb form
placed
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pantry areas, and stuff that
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 usually used must
keep
Wrong verb form
be kept
show examples
 in
storage
Add an article
the storage
a storage
show examples
 room.
Futheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
show examples
 working environment can make us comfortable
while
 working and our mind is at ease. It helps us to be productive
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 no
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
distraction
while
 working.
For instance
, we can concentrate
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 and
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
 and finish as early
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the deadlines,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which we will be able to spend our extra time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other important
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
In addition
,
Correct article usage
the staffs
show examples
staffs
Change noun form
staff's
show examples
 portfolio easily to locate if needed as it is organized with designated labels.
To sum up
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
proper organization of stuff and
tidy
Correct article usage
a tidy
show examples
 environment gives more comfort and peace to individuals as there's no time wasted.
Submitted by quilisadioanalyn19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score, focus on developing a clear structure for your essay. This means having a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded with explanations and examples.
task achievement
Be sure to answer all parts of the prompt in your response. Your essay should not only express your opinion but also discuss the reasons behind it. Include relevant examples to support your points. Additionally, aim for clarity in your ideas by organizing them logically and ensuring each paragraph contributes to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: