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Band 2

Some People Say Parent Should Not Allow Children To Do Activities Which Could Be Dangerous | do you agree or disagree

#people #parent #children #activities
It is
a
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apply
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common knowledge that most women tend to hide their
archivements
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achievements
 or represent these results as something ordinary. Of course, there are a lot of women who are on the opposite side and
usually
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usually,
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 we see just them, but still. Honestly, I thought about myself as about
this active women
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this active woman
these active women
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 who knows how to represent yourself). But what a surprise! When I decided, as I'm looking for a new position, to rewrite my CV
I've
Unnecessary verb
I
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 read the following words about my
archivements
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achievements
 as a Senior Researcher: present the material competently and in an accessible way,
search
Capitalize word
Search
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 and analyze information,
work
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and work
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 with technical documentation.
However
, at
this
 job I was creating a
Correct your spelling
strategy
stratey
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strategy
 for the whole industry with my two other colleagues) It was the "
The concept
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Concept
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 of instrumentation and metrological support of the agro-industrial complex". What I want to say in conclusion,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 we should always work on
yourself
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ourselves
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 and check
yourself
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ourselves
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< and we always can find a way how to be better today than we were yesterday).
Submitted by yarinka13 on

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task response
Make sure you clearly understand the prompt and directly address it in your introduction. This essay doesn't engage with the given topic about the dangers of certain children's activities.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a structured introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduce the topic, then support your stance with well-organized paragraphs, and finally, summarize your view in a conclusion.
task achievement
Use examples, reasons, and results to explain why you agree or disagree with the statement. This essay doesn’t provide specific arguments related to the safety of children's activities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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