IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #technology #gap #people
Many
individuals'including
Correct your spelling
individuals
 me,
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 that
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in
technology
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 differences between
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of owning money as modern
technology
 always are costly.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 think that
advenced
Correct your spelling
advanced
 life
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 satisfied accessibility for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to use
technology
. Numerous people believe that developing and getting
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 by day in
technology
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not cause class differences between
high -level
Correct your spelling
high-level
show examples
classes and
low- level
Correct your spelling
low-level
show examples
 ones. Since
Technology
 is as accessible as air for breathing and
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 that
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
, can benefit.
However
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in weak or
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 societies, even water is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
a worring
show examples
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
working
 issue let alone
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high-tech
progressing
Replace the word
progress
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
 of people
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 that
high-tech
Correct article usage
a high-tech
show examples
 life may be too expensive for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in poverty and
as a result
, they can not compete with wealthy people. High costs of some
the state of the art
Replace the word
state-of-the-art
show examples
 technologies lead
low- income
Correct your spelling
to low-income
show examples
leveles
Correct your spelling
levels
 of society
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not able to use them.For
examplifing
Correct your spelling
example
,
vacssination
Correct your spelling
vaccination
vaccinations
 in
Corona-viruse
Correct your spelling
Corona
 widespread is
compeletly
Correct your spelling
and
 depends on money at first. In conclusion, progressing in
technology
 may cause a huge gap in society between
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
 and poverty. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Modern
technology
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
pricy and
Correct word choice
expensive
show examples
 and ordinary families can not use it.
Whereas
, that special
technology
 be very accessible in public.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, including distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
coherence
Seek to improve coherence by linking your ideas more clearly. Use cohesive devices (such as conjunctions, pronouns, and linking phrases) effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
task response
To better address the task, make sure you discuss both views presented in the question thoroughly and provide a clear opinion on the issue. Incorporate your opinion consistently throughout the essay.
clarity
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them effectively. Present your arguments in a logical order, supporting each point with relevant examples or explanations.
grammar and vocabulary
Work on your grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Frequent grammatical errors and limited vocabulary can hinder the overall coherence and clarity of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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