IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

many people belive that modern technology may cause gab between poor and rich people, while some are disagree, discuses both view and tell your oppinion

#people #belive #technology #gab #discuses #oppinion
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Many individuals me, concerned that development in
technology
Use synonyms
 brings differences between
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 in the case of owning money as modern
technology
Use synonyms
 always are costly.Others think that advanced life brings satisfied accessibility for everyone
wants
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
 to use
technology
Use synonyms
. Numerous people believe that developing and getting modern-day by day in
technology
Use synonyms
 does not cause class differences between high-level classes and low-level ones. Since
Technology
Use synonyms
 is as accessible as air for breathing
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
everyone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 wants, can benefit.
However
Linking Words
, especially in weak or underdeveloped societies, even water is a kind of worrying issue let alone high-tech progress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
Majority
Fix capitalization
majority
show examples
 of people
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
 that a high-tech life may be too expensive for those who live in poverty and
as a result
Linking Words
, they can not compete with wealthy people. High costs of some state-of-the-art technologies lead to low-income levels of society
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not able to use them.
For example
Linking Words
, vaccination in Corona widespread is
Correct word choice
and
show examples
depends on money at first. In conclusion,
progressing
Replace the word
progress
show examples
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 may cause a huge gap in society between wealth and poverty. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is expensive and ordinary families can not use it.
Whereas
Linking Words
, that special
technology
Use synonyms
 be very accessible in public.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Begin with a clear statement of the topic and your thesis, followed by paragraphs that clearly separate the discussed viewpoints, and conclude by summarizing your opinion and the discussed views.
Task Achievement
Develop and expand your main points with more specific examples and explanations. While you have given an example regarding the accessibility of vaccination, more detailed and varied examples will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas more smoothly and help your reader follow your argument more easily. This will also help in clearly demarcating different sections and points within your essay.
General
Review and correct grammatical errors and ensure the use of appropriate vocabulary. Strive for clarity and precision in your language to effectively convey your arguments.
Task Achievement
Revisit the prompt's requirement to discuss both views and give your opinion. Make sure that you allocate enough space to discuss both sides of the argument before stating your position clearly towards the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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