In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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era, humans are living more than ever they could
duo
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due
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to many factors
such
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as health-care progress. Some
individuals
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believe that
ageing
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an ageing
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population can cause some problems for the country;
while
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other
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others
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consider if
the
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that
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society has more old
people
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, it will be beneficial. In my opinion, if the amount of
the
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apply
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elderly
people
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, overtakes the young
people
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, it might have some advantages;
however
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,
this
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case has some drawbacks as well. It is commonly believed that elderly
individuals
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would have more experiences which
was
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were
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gotten in their life.
In addition
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, they have lived longer, plus, they have seen many things during their life.
Hence
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, old folks can think better and manage better when it comes to
government’s
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government
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stuff.
For instance
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, it is absolutely clear that nowadays in most countries, presidents and government men and women are elected from those candidates
which
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who
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are older and have more
experiences
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experience
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.
Nevertheless
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, elderly
people
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are old and unable to do many things
specially
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especially
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when it comes to physical activities and delicate jobs
such
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as riding subway trains for 24 hours straight or
work
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working
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in a coffee shop where they have to be in a rush all the time.
Additionally
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, in today’s world computer programming which needs a delicate vision through the computer with tiny letters is one of the most crucial jobs,
therefore
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, it is hard for old
individuals
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to do
this
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kind of job.
To sum up
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,
although
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elderly
people
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can help us in many countries’ activities
such
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as crucial
governments’
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government’
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jobs, they might not be able to do some other important activities as well;
hence
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, we can give these responsibilities to younger
individuals
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.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay clearly addresses all parts of the task. Your argument somewhat reflects on the advantages and disadvantages, but more explicit comparison and a clearer statement of your position would strengthen your response.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you present a general discussion, incorporating specific examples from real-life situations or data can reinforce your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the flow between ideas can be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance readability and the logical flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although you have an introduction and a conclusion, ensure they are fully developed. Your introduction should more clearly outline your argument, and your conclusion should summarize your main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to support each main point with clear and relevant examples or evidence. This will help strengthen your argument and provide clearer guidance to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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