In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
era, humans are living more than ever they could
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to many factors
such
as health-care progress. Some
individuals
believe that
ageing
Correct article usage
an ageing
show examples
population can cause some problems for the country;
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
consider if
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
society has more old
people
, it will be beneficial. In my opinion, if the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
, overtakes the young
people
, it might have some advantages;
however
,
this
case has some drawbacks as well. It is commonly believed that elderly
individuals
would have more experiences which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
gotten in their life.
In addition
, they have lived longer, plus, they have seen many things during their life.
Hence
, old folks can think better and manage better when it comes to
government’s
Change noun form
government
show examples
stuff.
For instance
, it is absolutely clear that nowadays in most countries, presidents and government men and women are elected from those candidates
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are older and have more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, elderly
people
are old and unable to do many things
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
when it comes to physical activities and delicate jobs
such
as riding subway trains for 24 hours straight or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
in a coffee shop where they have to be in a rush all the time.
Additionally
, in today’s world computer programming which needs a delicate vision through the computer with tiny letters is one of the most crucial jobs,
therefore
, it is hard for old
individuals
to do
this
kind of job.
To sum up
,
although
elderly
people
can help us in many countries’ activities
such
as crucial
governments’
Fix the agreement mistake
government’
show examples
jobs, they might not be able to do some other important activities as well;
hence
, we can give these responsibilities to younger
individuals
.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay clearly addresses all parts of the task. Your argument somewhat reflects on the advantages and disadvantages, but more explicit comparison and a clearer statement of your position would strengthen your response.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you present a general discussion, incorporating specific examples from real-life situations or data can reinforce your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the flow between ideas can be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance readability and the logical flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although you have an introduction and a conclusion, ensure they are fully developed. Your introduction should more clearly outline your argument, and your conclusion should summarize your main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to support each main point with clear and relevant examples or evidence. This will help strengthen your argument and provide clearer guidance to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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