While a faction of people holds the notion that parents should closely monitor their offspring, others aruge that they should be independent from their parents. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the former opinion with relevant illustrations

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While

Linking Words

a faction of people holds the notion that

parents

Use synonyms

should closely monitor their offspring, others

aruge

Correct your spelling

argue

that they should be independent from their

parents

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the former opinion with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the people who advocate for the independence of

children

Use synonyms

claim that allowing the freedom of choice at a young age would be beneficial for juveniles in their future.

In other words

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, without parental

supervision

Add a comma

supervision,

show examples

juvenile

Fix the agreement mistake

juveniles

show examples

will learn from life experiences.

For example

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, if

parents

Use synonyms

allow a budget for monthly expenses for their offspring,

children

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will learn not only money management but

also

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the value of the money.

Besides

Linking Words

, In the concurrent world, family members would not have sufficient time

for

Change preposition

show examples

closely

monitoring

Wrong verb form

monitor

show examples

young ones. Schools and authorities

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

the responsibility to watch over the activities of adolescents.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

have a significant role in

children

Use synonyms

's development. In detail, at an early age,

children

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might not have the capacity to differentiate right and wrong,

therefore

Linking Words

, parental guidance, undeniably, is vital for

children

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Moreover

Linking Words

, since

parents

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have an immense influence on their

children

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, they can teach juveniles social responsibility and ethical

practice

Fix the agreement mistake

practices

show examples

For example

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, there are several students

participate

Wrong verb form

participating

show examples

in the voluntary 2024 beech cleaning program in Dubai with their

parents

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, despite the

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

independent development

is helps

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

in learning life experience,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social responsibilities and ethical practices can be learned from the supervision of their

parents

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. I believe that

children

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should be supervised by their

parents

Use synonyms

ck.manshadWed Feb 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your essay's logical structure by ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs. Utilizing transitional phrases can bridge ideas more seamlessly, contributing to a more cohesive argument.

coherence cohesion

In your introduction and conclusion, foreground your thesis more prominently. This can be done by stating your position unequivocally at the outset and reiterating it conclusively, thereby strengthening the impact of your argument.

coherence cohesion

To fortify the support for your main points, incorporate a broader range of examples and evidence. This diversification will not only validate your arguments further but also demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter.

task achievement

Your response adequately addresses the task, reflecting a balanced examination of both views and your own stance. For further improvement, aim for a nuanced presentation of your arguments, thoroughly exploring complexities and implications to provide a more compelling case.

task achievement

Clarify and expand upon your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and easily understood. This may involve unfolding your reasoning with more depth, enabling readers to grasp the full scope of your perspective.

task achievement

While you use relevant examples, increasing their specificity and depth can significantly enhance your argument. Detailed scenarios or concrete evidence can provide stronger support, making your position more persuasive.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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While a faction of people holds the notion that parents should closely monitor their offspring, others aruge that they should be independent from their parents. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the former opinion with relevant illustrations

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.