For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
A faction of
people
holds the notion that the rational
behind hard Correct your spelling
rationale
work
is to earn immense
amount of Add an article
the immense
an immense
money
. I completely disagree with this
view as amples of reasons are present to substantiate It. This
essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, the obvious reason behind hardwork
is commitment and passion towards the Correct your spelling
hard work
job
. In other words
, since a
high-paid jobs Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
are
not Verb problem
do
satisfied
the employee, arguably, Wrong verb form
satisfy
job
statisfaction
is imperative for Correct your spelling
satisfaction
the
hard Correct article usage
apply
work
. For example
, several people
who interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
to
Change preposition
in
the
art are working in art museums and Correct article usage
apply
gallaries
with minimum wages. Correct your spelling
galleries
Besides
, numerous politicians worked for the countries
development without any financial benefits. Change noun form
country's
This
is because the
Change preposition
of the
comitment
and spirit towards the national development.
Correct your spelling
commitment
Furthemore
, since Correct your spelling
Furthermore
hardworking
is an Correct word choice
hard work
inate
ability, Correct your spelling
innate
people
can not hardwork
without any stimulation. Correct your spelling
do
Money
can be stimulated only for few
months. in detail, if employees earned Correct article usage
a few
sufficient
amount of Add an article
a sufficient
money
, they would lose their hardworking stimulation. To illustrate, many start-up
are closed Change to a plural noun
start-ups
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
passion
of the founders after they earn Correct article usage
the passion
sufficient
amount of Correct article usage
a sufficient
money
. Moreover
, people
who looking for the
career development will not focus on Correct article usage
apply
hig-paid
jobs in their early employment stages. By doing Correct your spelling
high-paid
this
they can achieve their goals subsequently
,
and Remove the comma
apply
became
expert in their field. Wrong verb form
become
inturn
, Correct your spelling
In turn
renumeration
would be abundantly increase.
In conclusion, high paid Correct your spelling
remuneration
job
would not provide job
satisfaction which is vital for Correct article usage
apply
the
hard Correct article usage
apply
work
. Since the
hard Correct article usage
apply
work
require
Change the verb form
requires
stimulations
, career goals are important for Fix the agreement mistake
stimulation
hardwork
. I believe that Correct your spelling
hard work
Correct article usage
the reson
reson
for Correct your spelling
reason
hardwork
is commitment and passion Correct your spelling
hard work
to
the Change preposition
for
work
.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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logical structure
Try to ensure that your ideas are clearly and logically ordered throughout the essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction did a good job setting up the topic, so continue to ensure both are present in your writing.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps the reader understand your point of view more clearly.
complete response
Ensure your response fully addresses the prompt by exploring different perspectives beyond just disagreeing with the statement. This demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea with sufficient detail.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This enriches your essay and makes your reasoning more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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