For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A faction of

people

Use synonyms

holds the notion that the

rational

Correct your spelling

rationale

show examples

behind hard

work

Use synonyms

is to earn

immense

Add an article

the immense

an immense

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

view as amples of reasons are present to substantiate It.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the obvious reason behind

Use synonyms

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

is commitment and passion towards the

job

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, since

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

high-paid jobs

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

satisfied

Wrong verb form

satisfy

show examples

the employee, arguably,

job

Use synonyms

statisfaction

Correct your spelling

satisfaction

is imperative for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard

work

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, several

people

Use synonyms

who

interested

Add a missing verb

are interested

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art are working in art museums and

gallaries

Correct your spelling

galleries

with minimum wages.

Besides

Linking Words

, numerous politicians worked for the

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

development without any financial benefits.

This

Linking Words

is because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

comitment

Correct your spelling

commitment

and spirit towards the national development.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, since

hardworking

Correct word choice

hard work

show examples

is an

inate

Correct your spelling

innate

ability,

people

Use synonyms

can not

Use synonyms

hardwork

Correct your spelling

without any stimulation.

Money

Use synonyms

can be stimulated only for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

months. in detail, if employees earned

sufficient

Add an article

a sufficient

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

, they would lose their hardworking stimulation. To illustrate, many

start-up

Change to a plural noun

start-ups

show examples

are closed

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

passion

Correct article usage

the passion

show examples

of the founders after they earn

sufficient

Correct article usage

a sufficient

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who looking for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

career development will not focus on

hig-paid

Correct your spelling

high-paid

jobs in their early employment stages. By doing

this

Linking Words

they can achieve their goals

subsequently

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

expert in their field.

inturn

Correct your spelling

In turn

show examples

renumeration

Correct your spelling

remuneration

show examples

would be abundantly increase. In conclusion, high paid

job

Use synonyms

would not provide

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction which is vital for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard

work

Use synonyms

. Since

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard

work

Use synonyms

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

stimulations

Fix the agreement mistake

stimulation

show examples

, career goals are important for

Use synonyms

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

. I believe that

Correct article usage

the reson

show examples

reson

Correct your spelling

reason

for

Use synonyms

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

is commitment and passion

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

work

Use synonyms

ck.manshadWed Feb 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Try to ensure that your ideas are clearly and logically ordered throughout the essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction did a good job setting up the topic, so continue to ensure both are present in your writing.

supported main points

Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps the reader understand your point of view more clearly.

complete response

Ensure your response fully addresses the prompt by exploring different perspectives beyond just disagreeing with the statement. This demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and expand upon your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea with sufficient detail.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This enriches your essay and makes your reasoning more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think government should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discussion both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, people are inclined towards adventurous sports sparked a debate where proponents argue that it should be banned whereas , others advocate that people should decide for themselves about the risk involved. This essay will explore both the views and as far as my opinion is concerned, I favour the latter statement.
6
band
Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
It is undeniable that social media plays a vital role in our lives today. From my point of view, even though this social media not only provides us with all the information about events or activities but also plays a part in communication, they offer deceiving and cheating which lead to some serious damage to our community such as scammer, fraud and hackers.
9
band
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Research has established that personality and individual development are more significantly influenced by inherent characteristics than by external events encountered throughout life. While genetic predisposition undeniably plays a crucial role in shaping later developmental outcomes, it does not outweigh the influence exerted by life experiences. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.
6
band
Nowadays. most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
In the new generations, almost all countries strive to enhance their economic rate by minimizing the portion of living, while others have been saying some individual values will lost. Personally, the advantages of enhancing the grade of living are higher than the disadvantages. This essay will suggest that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
7.5
band
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Most people prefer to live near their birthplace because of numerous reasons which provide advantages of property inheritance, familiarity in society, and business opportunities. However, there are certain disadvantages with this approach including intolerance and career growth.

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discussion both views and give your own opinion.

Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays. most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?