The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of many well-known
people
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got much insight from the
media
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,
while
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their
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
is to announce or report about many
people
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around the world. I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement
due to
Linking Words
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
of them and
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss two main reasons.
Media
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plays an important role in
society
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society's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, particularly for youngsters. Many young
people
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watch television for
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
, like films and reality shows rather than
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news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
because celebrities
life
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become
trendsetter
Fix the agreement mistake
trendsetters
show examples
nowadays.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they usually adapt their idols’
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and activity to their
life
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, which can be a bad influence for them if they do not choose wisely.
For instance
Linking Words
, they will be more tolerant with mini dress or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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drunk, so
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
should
to
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apply
show examples
announce good
news
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of
Change preposition
about
show examples
ordinary
people
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. Reporting
news
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of common
people
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is
a good advice
Remove the article
good advice
a piece of good advice
a bit of good advice
show examples
for
media
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, because
people
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usually read the
media
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, especially electronic
media
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on their mobile devices. They can access it easily for a really short time, so
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
should
to
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apply
show examples
manage what they want to report carefully.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can attract
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention by their
title
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titles
show examples
on their pages, which can make
people
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
curios
Correct your spelling
curious
show examples
and interested in
read
Change the form of the verb
reading
show examples
the
news
Use synonyms
. They should
to
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apply
show examples
think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
people
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get from
read
Change the form of the verb
reading
show examples
their
media
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, rather than
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
, comment or money they will get from reporting the
news
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is better for
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media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
to report the
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of good
people
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,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
become
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
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models
show examples
for
people
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around the world than follow and announce what
happen
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happens
show examples
in
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Sometimes it can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
Add an article
the bad
a bad
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation in the future.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'For instance', 'However') to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs. This makes your argument more coherent and easy to follow.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Incorporate more diverse and specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Avoid general statements without backing them up.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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