The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of many well-known
people
got much insight from the
media
,
while
their
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
is to announce or report about many
people
around the world. I agree with
this
statement
due to
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
of them and
this
essay will discuss two main reasons.
Media
plays an important role in
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
life
, particularly for youngsters. Many young
people
watch television for
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
, like films and reality shows rather than
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
because celebrities
life
become
trendsetter
Fix the agreement mistake
trendsetters
show examples
nowadays.
Moreover
, they usually adapt their idols’
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and activity to their
life
, which can be a bad influence for them if they do not choose wisely.
For instance
, they will be more tolerant with mini dress or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
drunk, so
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
announce good
news
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
ordinary
people
. Reporting
news
of common
people
is
a good advice
Remove the article
good advice
a piece of good advice
a bit of good advice
show examples
for
media
, because
people
usually read the
media
, especially electronic
media
on their mobile devices. They can access it easily for a really short time, so
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
manage what they want to report carefully.
Furthermore
, they can attract
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attention by their
title
Fix the agreement mistake
titles
show examples
on their pages, which can make
people
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
curios
Correct your spelling
curious
show examples
and interested in
read
Change the form of the verb
reading
show examples
the
news
. They should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
people
get from
read
Change the form of the verb
reading
show examples
their
media
, rather than
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
, comment or money they will get from reporting the
news
.
To sum up
, it is better for
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
to report the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of good
people
,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
become
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
for
people
around the world than follow and announce what
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Sometimes it can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
Add an article
the bad
a bad
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation in the future.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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