1/ Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free

the affordability
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
higher education appears as one of the most arguable
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
in
society
. The majority believe that education regulators should consider eliminating
tuition
fees for all individuals, irrespective of their socio-economic background. I personally hold the opposing opinion about
this
initiatives
Fix the agreement mistake
initiative
show examples
and will provide
further
explanation in
this
essay. First and foremost, there are compelling reasons for the idea that everyone is encouraged to
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue
show examples
college for free.
Since people
Correct word choice
People
show examples
believe that
free-of-charge
Correct article usage
a free-of-charge
show examples
educational system would create a huge resource of skilled
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
for the country’s workforce. Augmenting the nation’s
competiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
through developing the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market is understandable, especially for developing countries. It ultimately enhances the entire
society
from
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
landscape to civilization.
Secondly
,
this
regime is meaningful for the group of young people who are from underprivileged families, it helps
relieving
Wrong verb form
relieve
show examples
less well-off
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
financial burden for their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
pursuit of educational enrichment. People equipped with tertiary
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
will stand a chance for a better job once
seeking for
Verb problem
they seek
show examples
employment and
high
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
chance to get a stable job after graduation rather than just a high school degree. Having said that, there
are
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is
show examples
a certain pronounced drawback of
free
Correct article usage
the free
show examples
tuition
education policy in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. On the individual level, students may lose their dedication and concentration in studying since they are no longer responsible for
tuition
fees.
Instead
of
devote
Change the verb form
devoting
show examples
themselves
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
disciplines in order to get high scores and win
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
,
this
motivation is abolished. On the
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
level,
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
elimination
Replace the word
eliminating
show examples
school
Change preposition
of school
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
may put a strain on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
coffer
Fix the agreement mistake
coffers
show examples
, leading to budget deficits,
tax
Correct word choice
and tax
show examples
hikes and
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
welfare among others. In conclusion,
while
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
tuition
fee regime may have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several advantages
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
society
. I believe its drawbacks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far surpass
Correct article usage
the benefit
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
this
policy may bring to a country.
Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on

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task achievement
Introduce your ideas more proactively in the introduction, clearly stating your opinion and previewing the main points you will discuss, to guide your reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas within and across paragraphs more smoothly. This will improve the flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Present more precise and varied examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This helps your essay to be more logically organized and coherent.
task achievement
Review grammar and spelling. While your essay is understandable, minor errors can distract the reader and detract from your argument's impact.
coherence cohesion
Be more explicit in your conclusion, summarizing your main points and restating your stance, to leave the reader with a strong, clear impression of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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