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Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effectiv

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures #effectiv
Nowadays,
It is clear that
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 raising
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in both
traffic
 congestion and
pollution
 problems.
One
 of the best suggestable solutions for these problems is to expand the
price
 of petrol. In my opinion, I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
partially
agreeing
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement as there are other effective solutions
such
 as expansions of public transportation networks. On the
one
 hand, increasing the
price
 of petroleum may be essential for solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
pollution
.
In other words
, It can help to reduce the number of vehicles on the road which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 the
pollution
.
For example
, employers who work in the same place can use
one
 vehicle to go to their work
instead
 of each
one
 using his own car. Another significant
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
price
petrol
Change preposition
of petrol
show examples
 is that will encourage the government to invest more in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation and alternative energy vehicles, which could have
longer term
Add a hyphen
longer-term
show examples
 benefits for both
traffic
 congestion and
pollution
.
On the other hand
, there are other factors that could be effective in
dressing
Verb problem
reducing
show examples
traffic
 and
pollution
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of public transportation networks.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that the promotion of cycling and walking through the creation of safe bike lanes and pedestrian zones.
A research
Correct article usage
Research
show examples
 carried out in Germany showed that more than 50% of workers using their bicycles to go to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work in the
last
 recent years.
This
is result
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 in
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 the
pollution
 and helps them to have a good
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. In conclusion, Reducing
traffic
 and
pollution
 could be possible
be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 using various ways
such
 as increasing petroleum
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 and encouraging people to use public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
Submitted by monahhj123 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. You have made a good attempt, but further expansion on each point with more detailed examples and explanation could enhance your response. Additionally, a clearer stance in your introduction could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, furthermore, however) to connect ideas. Also, consider organizing your paragraphs around clear central topics, making your argument easier to follow.
general
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve your language accuracy. Pay attention to the usage of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses. Improving your grammatical range and accuracy will positively impact your score.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • petrol prices
  • public transportation
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • disproportionately affect
  • inequality
  • emissions standards
  • cycling and walking
  • safe bike lanes
  • pedestrian zones
  • smart city technologies
  • traffic flow management
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