the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.
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The given pictures illustrate how an industrial region in the town named Norbition looks now, and how it is planned to be looked after redevelopment plans.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that several facilities are to be added to the
area
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, factories are to be removed, and the
area
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is going to be a
residental
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residential
place. Currently, there is a roundabout that connects an eastern and a southern
road
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, with several factories in the
area
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which are to be removed in the redevelopment. The
area
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around the eastern
road
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is to be for housing, a school
at the end
Linking Words
, and a playground to the north. Another
road
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is planned to be added to the north of the roundabout, and over a river, with housing along the western side of the
road
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. The farmland north of the river is to be moved
further
Linking Words
east and its position is to be replaced by housing. there are
also
Linking Words
plans to construct another
road
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northwest
from
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of
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the roundabout. More housing is to be built along one side and
at the end
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
road
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. To the southwest of the roundabout, shops are planned to be constructed. Across the street to the southeast is
to be
Verb problem
apply
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a medical centre. A second roundabout is
also
Linking Words
to be added.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, at the end".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, road with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned development
  • existing facilities
  • proposed changes
  • infrastructure
  • public spaces
  • sustainable development
  • green spaces
  • pollution control
  • local community
  • job creation
  • amenities
  • property values
  • displacement
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
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