the chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sport activities by youngest and oldest population in the US in 2015.
The chart illustrates youngest and oldest people how
to
spend their time on a daily basis in leisure and sports activities in the US in 2015.
Fix the infinitive
apply
Overall
, it is clear that
individuals prefer to do relaxing events because watching TV was the highest number in the group of teenagers and elder people on
the six different activities.
Change preposition
in
To begin
with, the average time of teenagers and elderly people who watched TV was 2.4 and 4.5 hours
respectively every day,
Remove the comma
apply
while
relaxing and thinking was the lowest in the ages of 15 to 19, and individuals who were over 75 years old didn't like to do the exercise and sports, which was only 0.2 hours
.
Furthermore
, the second rank among adolescents was playing games, which was approximately 1.2 hours
; however
, oldest
person would like to read for 1 hour per day. Add an article
an oldest
the oldest
Moreover
, there was a similar number for socializing and communicating in the two ranges, which was 0.8 hours
.Submitted by af231186 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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