IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The plans provide
illustration
Add an article
an illustration
show examples
 of the facilities and settings in Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 in 1920 versus today. In general, it is readily apparent that the
park
 has undergone enormous modernisation.
While
 the current
park
 includes a myriad of modernised amenities, the old site consisted mainly
nature
Change preposition
of nature
show examples
 and basic facilities. The west side of the
park
 used to be surrounded by 4 seats and 2 rose gardens. Currently, only one rose garden remains under Arnold Avenue. The stage for musicians has been demolished and transformed into
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 curved amphitheatre for concerts. The southwest side becomes spacious. Switching to the
park
 centre, it can be seen that the major transformation is replacing the fountain with
rose
Add an article
a rose
the rose
show examples
 garden. The seats from the west
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 placed around the rose ground. Despite
unchanged
Correct article usage
the unchanged
show examples
 entrance, an
additonal
Correct your spelling
additional
 entrance could be spotted along the left of Eldon Street.
Last
 but not least, the east part removed the nature aspect and dominated with urbanised facilities. The rose garden under Arnold Avenue has been switched to
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
. Right next to the cafe, a play area for children is established. On the opposite of
cafe
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
, a water feature can now be noticed, where there once stood a glasshouse 100 years ago.
Submitted by lokyiu612 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Aim to explicitly state the purpose of your report in the introduction, ensuring readers are clear on what is being compared or described.
Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. Consider adding more specific details or a broader range of examples to enhance comprehensiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
A well-structured essay will greatly benefit from a clear introduction and conclusion, serving to respectively set up and summarize your main points. Consider working on a more explicit concluding paragraph that brings your observations together.
Coherence and Cohesion
Employ a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. This not only aids coherence but also makes your comparisons and transitions between ideas smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that main points are not just mentioned but also elaborated upon and supported with details or examples. This depth of information enhances both task achievement and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: