Today more and more people are using mobile phone and computer. Thus, the communication ability is losing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowdays
,many Correct the word
Nowadays
people
use a smartphone or laptop. Therefore
, they are losing the ability to communication
. In Replace the word
communicate
this
essay, I will discuss the main reason why I agree with this
statement.
The primary reason why people
are losing their ability to comunication
Correct your spelling
communicate
to
each other is becauseChange preposition
with
,
they spend a lot of time on social media rather than have a good experience in life with their family or friends. When Remove the comma
apply
people
go to a restaurant, they are worry
about photos or videos Change the verb form
are worried
are
on Unnecessary verb
apply
tiktok
or Correct your spelling
TikTok
facebook
. Capitalize word
Facebook
While
,
they should be talking to other Remove the comma
apply
people
. A clear example of this
is the influencers, when they go to a concert or event, they only post photographs. However
, they don't enjoy the concert or event because they do not socialize to
other Change preposition
with
people
.
The secondary reason why the use of gadgets has an impact on people
's communication is that cellphones
and computers are more comfortable when Correct your spelling
cell phones
people
send a message
. Today, people
send a text with emojis or voice message
even when is necessary Fix the agreement mistake
messages
have
a deep conversation because is more Fix the infinitive
to have
esay
and practical to send an email or Correct your spelling
easy
essay
message
. As a
result
they are not able to communicate in person what they need or desire. Add a comma
result,
For instance
, parents spend many hours on their phone
or Fix the agreement mistake
phones
computer
for their work. Fix the agreement mistake
computers
However
, when they need to talk to their children, they do not know how to start a conversation with them.
In conclusion, I believe that when people
use cell phones and computers they could be lose
their ability to Change the verb form
lose
communication
because they spend many hours on social media and when they need to talk to someone they prefer Replace the word
communicate
send
a Add the particle
to send
message
rather than have a conversation.Submitted by Vlguerrero7 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure to cover all parts of the prompt adequately to show complete response to the task. Although the essay leans towards one side of the argument, incorporating contrasting views can deepen the analysis.
Task Achievement
Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. This involves expanding on your points with detailed explanations or more specific, varied examples to solidify your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a wider range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures to aid the logical flow of ideas. This enhances coherence throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Work on introducing distinctly clear and relevant examples to bolster your main points. Try to use real-world, tangible examples when possible, as this helps in substantiating your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion succinctly encapsulate the main points and your stance on the topic. A stronger, more explicit thesis statement could improve the introduction.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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