IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As computers translate quickly and accurately, learning foreign languages is a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computers #languages #waste #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Allegedly, learning foreign
languages
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 given considerable attention. Many individuals believe
languages
 play a pivotal role in our lives, but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that new types of high-tech facilities
such
 as computer translators can assist us to translate quickly and accurately, without any extra time. I totally disagree that learning new
languages
 might waste our time. Nowadays, humans realize the effect of being multilingual. Not only can they communicate with other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world, but
also
 they can promote the outcomes of their occupations and their academic conditions.
For instance
, many students in Iran migrate to the USA
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enhance their technical and practical skills in American
colloges
Correct your spelling
colleges
 and universities,
then
 utilize it in their careers.
Therefore
, you must be
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 in other
languages
 to seize many opportunities in your workplace or academic circumstances.
In addition
, all of the powerful companies with professional
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 require bilingual speakers for their contracts with abroad factories or purchasers. After globalisation,
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 have a profound role in people's lives.
For instance
,
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
show examples
 principals have to hire fluent multilingual employees to convince other shoppers with suitable language.
Robats
Correct your spelling
Robots
 might play
this
 role but real co-workers with desirable speech could be more
influencial
Correct your spelling
influential
. In effect, managers should allocate some sections with talented bilingual speakers to promote their sales in other countries. In conclusion, it is crucial for
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 generation to improve their proficiency in other
languages
 because they can enhance the infrastructure of their lives effectively.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position throughout the essay. Although you have stated your position in the introduction, reinforcing it in the body paragraphs and conclusion will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
When providing examples, try to include specific details that directly support your argument. While your essay mentions the importance of bilingual speakers in businesses and the academic benefits, adding more detailed examples or statistics could make your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a more varied sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph are directly related to that main idea. This will help to keep your writing focused and cohesive.
General
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. Consider revising for verb agreement (e.g., 'are given' should be 'is given') and article use. An accurate use of grammar will help to convey your ideas more clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Computers are proficient in certain domains but struggle with complex language nuances
  • Machine translation lacks human touch and may not capture context accurately
  • Learning a foreign language is a valuable investment in personal development
  • Language learning fosters empathy and appreciation for different cultures
  • Multilingual individuals are in high demand in the job market
  • Acquiring new languages expands one's horizons and opens doors to new opportunities
  • Bilingualism enhances cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: