Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city. While others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places.
While
a faction of people
holds the notion that Correct article usage
the countrysides
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
are
the best place to grow Correct subject-verb agreement
is
up
Change preposition
apply
juveniles
, others argue that metropolitan cities
are suitable for them. This
essay will delve into both viewpoints with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of the cities
for the young people
to grow up is the accessibility of facilities. In other words
, the people
who living
in Change the form of the verb
live
cities
can easly
access Correct your spelling
easily
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
such
as libraries and sports centers
for their academic Change the spelling
centres
as well as
lifestyle purposes. For example
, around three thousand sports facilites
are available in the metropolitan area Correct your spelling
facilities
in
Dubai. Change preposition
of
Similarly
, the students can easly
access to high standard schools as renowned school campuses are located in Correct your spelling
easily
cities
around the globe. The main disadvantage of cities
is the fast-paced lifestyle. Since the parents in urban areas
would have an
hectic lifestyle, Change the article
a
juveniles
might feel isolated and depend
online platforms like Facebook to connect Add the preposition
depend on
people
which may Change preposition
with people
detrimental
Add a missing verb
be detrimental
for
their studies.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, major
advantage Add an article
a major
in
the Change preposition
of
countryside
is less pollution compared to urban areas
. In detail, the children who grow up in rural areas
can enjoy not only fresh air but also
fresh water. Moreover
, the countryside
would have more green space which will help for the physical and mental well-being of juveniles
. For examples
, it is true that, in the Fix the agreement mistake
example
countryside
,Add an article
the
cities
. The demerit of the children Change preposition
in cities
raise
in the Change the form of the verb
raised
countryside
is difficulty
Correct article usage
the difficulty
to commute
to educational institutions. Since few academic facilities are available in Change preposition
in commuting
the
rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
, the juveniles
may commute to longer distance
for schooling.
In conclusion, accessibility of facilities is the major advantage of the Fix the agreement mistake
distances
cities
for juveniles
, however
, isolation and overuse of online media are the considerable disadvantages. Lower
level of pollution is the main attraction in the Add an article
The lower
A lower
countryside
, ergo, commute
to school is a challenge Wrong verb form
commuting
in
the students of Change preposition
for
this
area.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument addressing both views, but there's room to enhance the support for your main points with more detailed examples. Including specific, real-world instances could strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve coherence. While your essay flows reasonably well, more sophisticated connectors could help to make the transitions between ideas smoother and more natural.
General
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and typos, as these can distract from the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading your work can help you identify and correct these mistakes.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?