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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the average length of video advertisements on the Internet and the average length of time viewers spend watching them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the average length of video advertisements on the Internet and the average length of time viewers spend watching them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table compares the average
time
Use synonyms
 of video
advertisements
Use synonyms
 on the Internet and the average
seconds
Use synonyms
 audiences spend watching them. There are ten different kinds of them including public service, automotive, financial services,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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,entertainment, home furnishings, consumer electronics ,
pharmoceuticals
Correct your spelling
pharmaceuticals
, clothing and other retail.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average
length
Use synonyms
 of all the ten types of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 is 22.4
seconds
Use synonyms
, whilst viewers averagely watch them for 10.7
seconds
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, public service
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are the longest and have the longest
time
Use synonyms
 from audiences in the
mean
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the information
shawn
Change the capitalization
Shawn
show examples
 in the table,viewers spend 18.5
seconds
Use synonyms
 on public service
advertisements
Use synonyms
 as their average
length
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 is 45.8
seconds
Use synonyms
 which is over 3 times longer than the shortest ones, clothing
advertisements
Use synonyms
wIth
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 14.6
seconds
Use synonyms
 only.
However
Linking Words
, people spend the least
time
Use synonyms
 on other retail ones which is 4.5
seconds
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 their average
length
Use synonyms
 is 21
seconds
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be apparently seen that the
length
Use synonyms
 of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 is not in direct proportion to the
time
Use synonyms
 that people watch them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, advertisements, seconds, length with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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