All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

#fathers #time-off #work #children

Some people hold of view that new

father

Fix the agreement mistake

fathers

show examples

should have the right to take

time

off

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

work when they have

infant

Add an article

an infant

show examples

child. In my opinion,

due to

mental

support

as well as

assistaning

Correct your spelling

assistance

Change preposition

with

show examples

household chores from

father

Correct article usage

the father

show examples

to the child and mother, I agree with

this

approach. To

being

Verb problem

begin

show examples

with,

fathers

can provide emotional

support

to their wives.

That is

to say, mother are very sensitive and irritable during

postpartum

Add an article

the postpartum

show examples

period,

therefore

they need to be accompanied by their husbands during

this

time

. Take the lack of psychological and emotional

support

from the spouse,

causing

Change the form of the verb

caused

show examples

by hormonal changes and can increase depression and stress for an example; they will alleviate the bond between family members.

In addition

fathers

can help their wives with household chores. Since mothers have to devote their

time

both to raising their children and doing household chores

such

as cleaning and cooking. It is necessary for

fathers

to help their

spouse

Fix the agreement mistake

spouses

show examples

this

way and reduce physical pressure.

Therefore

, helping mothers will

stike

Correct your spelling

strike

a balance between doing housework and fostering children and will warm the heart of the family. In conclusion, it is necessary for

fathers

to take

time

off because it can help mothers

Change preposition

with

show examples

mental and physical

support

and doing housework.

Submitted by hongminh317 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand on the range of examples you provide to support your points. Including specific, real-life examples will enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it cohesively support that idea. This strengthens the logical flow of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Avoid repeating words and phrases. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to display a wider range of vocabulary and improve readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Review the grammatical structure and punctuation of your sentences for accuracy and clarity. This will contribute to both the coherence of the essay and its overall professionalism.

Task Achievement

To further enhance your task achievement score, consider addressing potential counterarguments to your view and explaining why your perspective remains valid. This shows critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

210 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree? disagree

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.