All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

#fathers #time-off #work #children

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Some people hold of view that new

father

Fix the agreement mistake

fathers

show examples

should have the right to take

time

Use synonyms

off

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

work when they have

infant

Add an article

an infant

show examples

child. In my opinion,

due to

Linking Words

mental

support

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

assistaning

Correct your spelling

assistance

Change preposition

with

show examples

household chores from

father

Correct article usage

the father

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to the child and mother, I agree with

this

Linking Words

approach. To

being

Verb problem

begin

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with,

fathers

Use synonyms

can provide emotional

support

Use synonyms

to their wives.

That is

Linking Words

to say, mother are very sensitive and irritable during

postpartum

Add an article

the postpartum

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period,

therefore

Linking Words

they need to be accompanied by their husbands during

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

. Take the lack of psychological and emotional

support

Use synonyms

from the spouse,

causing

Change the form of the verb

caused

show examples

by hormonal changes and can increase depression and stress for an example; they will alleviate the bond between family members.

In addition

Linking Words

fathers

Use synonyms

can help their wives with household chores. Since mothers have to devote their

time

Use synonyms

both to raising their children and doing household chores

such

Linking Words

as cleaning and cooking. It is necessary for

fathers

Use synonyms

to help their

spouse

Fix the agreement mistake

spouses

show examples

this

Linking Words

way and reduce physical pressure.

Therefore

Linking Words

, helping mothers will

stike

Correct your spelling

strike

a balance between doing housework and fostering children and will warm the heart of the family. In conclusion, it is necessary for

fathers

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to take

time

Use synonyms

off because it can help mothers

Change preposition

with

show examples

mental and physical

support

Use synonyms

and doing housework.

Submitted by hongminh317 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand on the range of examples you provide to support your points. Including specific, real-life examples will enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it cohesively support that idea. This strengthens the logical flow of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Avoid repeating words and phrases. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to display a wider range of vocabulary and improve readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Review the grammatical structure and punctuation of your sentences for accuracy and clarity. This will contribute to both the coherence of the essay and its overall professionalism.

Task Achievement

To further enhance your task achievement score, consider addressing potential counterarguments to your view and explaining why your perspective remains valid. This shows critical thinking and a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

Word Count

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people believe it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.