You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. 1. give details of the celebration. 2. Explain the reason why you need time off 3. suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

#work #company #time #celebration #reason

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to ask you to give me a month off my work. First of all, I would like to write about I decided on my daddy's 40th birthday and I have to plan for his birthday. So I need almost one month for

this

Linking Words

. I chose a fishing restaurant near the Forbidden City for the celebration.

Linking Words

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

I have to buy

Change the article

show examples

expensive and good quality laptop.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, I have to book into yacht.Because my dad

Add a missing verb

is interest

show examples

interest

Replace the word

interested

show examples

Change preposition

in a

show examples

lot of

boat

Change to a plural noun

boats

show examples

and

hunt

Wrong verb form

hunting

show examples

fish.I want to

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

watch beautiful sightseeing scenery.Added to

this

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, when I was young he told me his ambitions.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

he wanted

own

Correct pronoun usage

his own

show examples

yacht.So I need a lot of time for

this

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. What I want to suggest is,if you could give me a month for my celebration when I come back

Change preposition

from my

show examples

job and I work extra time for

this

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

I will work online. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Parizoda.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs specifying the details of the celebration and your reasons, and a conclusion. Use one paragraph for each main idea.

coherence cohesion

Provide clearer transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'In addition to this' and 'Furthermore' are correctly used but ensure the ideas connected are related.

task achievement

Address the task directly by explaining why you specifically need an entire month off and how your work will be managed in your absence. Specify the dates if possible and outline a plan for your duties.

task achievement

Where possible, include specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, explain briefly how you plan to work extra time upon your return or work online during your leave.

coherence cohesion

Review basic grammar rules and practice punctuating complex sentences appropriately to enhance clarity. Use connectors to smoothly link sentences and ideas together without repetition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

167 words

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You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. 1. give details of the celebration. 2. Explain the reason why you need time off 3. suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

Fully explain your ideas

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?