IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the growth of industrial
area's
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
 now and planned in the
future
Use synonyms
 of the site.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are many facilities
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in the site of
Use synonyms
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 development
such
Linking Words
 as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
, medical
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
show examples
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, and
shops
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the factory will
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
show examples
 with residential complexes and the street will be added in the
future
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the middle of
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
 in the Norbiton industrial
area's now have
Change the verb form
area now has
show examples
 eight factories. The east of
factories
Correct article usage
the factories
show examples
 will
be replace
Change the verb form
be replaced
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and the southwest of the roundabout changed by
shops
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 factories will change to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
housing in the
future
Use synonyms
. The farmland will change with
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
plan
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the east of
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 will build farmland. Looking at the main square, the east of
shops
Use synonyms
 will build medical
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
show examples
 to serve residents. Afterwards, there are a lot of road constructions
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the site of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the future's
show examples
future's
Change noun form
future
show examples
plan
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opposite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the roundabout to the house across the river.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
plan
Change the verb form
planned
show examples
future
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
bridge
Add an article
a bridge
the bridge
show examples
 to reach the resident's
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Submitted by writingieltsband9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, such, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words future, plan, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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