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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Online education is rapidly increasing in popularity. What has led to this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online learning compared to in-class instructions? Provide examples and explanations.

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During the past few years, E-learning gained popularity. With the spread of the global pandemic, people were encouraged to practice social distancing.
Therefore
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, schools replaced in-person learning with virtual classrooms.
As a result
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,
this
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 concept became well-liked by
students
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.
However
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, online
education
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 has positive impacts
as well as
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 negative impacts. In the below paragraphs, I will elaborate on the advantages
as well as
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 the disadvantages of virtual learning.
To begin
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 with, virtual
education
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 enhances the learning experience for
students
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. It provided the ability for international
students
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 to complete their
studies
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 without immigrating.
In addition
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, E-learning is flexible, convenient and time-saving.
For instance
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,
students
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 can listen to their professor from any place they prefer via a tablet, phone, or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer. Some
students
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 join
classes
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 even
while
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 travelling.
Although
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students
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 were hesitant to acquire
studies
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 via computers in the past later on it gained demand
as well as
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 popularity and was considered as an effective learning method.
On the other hand
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, online
education
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 has a few disadvantages.
Firstly
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, individuals pay more attention,
highly
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are highly
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 concentrated and
focused
Add a missing verb
are focused
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 on
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studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
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 when they receive in-class
education
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. Because in-class lectures provide a suitable atmosphere for
studies
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. Virtual learning can be distractive
on
Change preposition
in
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 certain instances.
For example
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, if a person is joining a class from home
while
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 there are visitors around or any renovations happening the noise can be disturbing.
Moreover
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, some
students
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 try to join
classes
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while
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 working which is not effective.
Furthermore
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, in-person
education
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 is more interactive and engaging.
As a result
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 of these negative effects, some
students
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 choose to attend on-campus
classes
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. In conclusion, online
education
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 is an effective alternative method for on-campus
classes
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. It has advantages and disadvantages and
students
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 have the option to choose the best suitable method based on their preference.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay displays a general structure but can benefit significantly from clearer logical flow between ideas. Use more linking phrases and topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce your essay with a stronger thesis statement to immediately inform the reader of your perspective on online vs. in-class instruction. Your conclusion should effectively summarise your main points and reinforce your stance.
Task Achievement
While your response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning, aim to develop your ideas further by providing deeper analysis and more specific, varied examples that demonstrate the impacts of these advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Consider incorporating direct comparisons between online learning and in-class instruction within your body paragraphs to give a more comprehensive evaluation of the topic.
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