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Band 5.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
There is an argumentative perspective heating a debate over the notion that numerous individuals in society are using social
media
 in place of in-person interactions. In my opinion, the demerits may overshadow the merits. Without a shadow of a doubt, there is a myriad of advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 utilizing social
media
. The explanation for
this
 could be that social
plaforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
 can help education and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 not be interrupted.
For example
, Covid-19 was the cause of the quarantine period when nobody was allowed to have direct interaction with others.
This
 was
also
 the time in which everyone would accomplish tasks through Zoom or Skype so that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 communicate and exchange information with each other.
Moreover
, social
media
 can help individuals connect and interact with others without spending any money or time
on
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apply
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travelling.
For example
, friends or relatives who are at distant geographical places can have conversations or dialogues through Facebook or Instagram. Meanwhile, there is a steady
steam
Correct your spelling
stream
show examples
 of disadvantages of social
media
. Using social
media
 and not having face-to-face interaction can easily create conflicts and degradation of relationship quality. When everyone
use
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uses
show examples
 written text,
although
 they can still convey the message, the messages can not express the senders’ feelings and tones of voice.
This
 could easily cause the recipients to understand imprecisely
from
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apply
show examples
the original purpose of the senders, which can only be solved through direct conversations or dialogues. In conclusion, I would contend that the use of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
social
media
 can do harm to face-to-face interaction and the advantages of social
media
 may not overshadow its counterpart.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
Work on presenting a more nuanced view of the topic. While you've outlined your stance, exploring the complexities of this issue in more depth will enhance your task response score. Consider comparing and contrasting the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly, integrating how they could potentially balance each other.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it cohesively support that idea. This will strengthen the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a more varied structure in your sentences to display a wider range of grammatical forms. This can also contribute to the coherence and cohesion of your essay, making your arguments clearer and easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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