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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that people should do research into their family history. Other, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
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There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over whether to concentrate on the past or the future and the present.
While
 there are individuals who contend that people ought to look into their ancestry, others share the belief that we should pay attention to the current and future generations. In my opinion,
while
 each has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. On the one hand, doing research into your family history is necessary. The explanation for that could be that looking at your family background can give you a better understanding of your family tree, the traditions,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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 of your family in order to preserve your family’s vocational skills.
For example
, embroidering skills can be cited as one of the greatest
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
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 that need preserving and spreading to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 generations to avoid disappearing.
On the other hand
,
while
 the redeeming features of the notion that it’s essential to investigate your family history, concentrating on the present and future generations
also
 plays a paramount
significant
Correct word choice
apply
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role. It is probably because
that
Correct word choice
apply
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these are the individuals who will be present to assist you promptly when you face difficulties.
For example
, when you meet financial difficulties, parents, cousins, siblings, and
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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relatives are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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who
Change the pronoun
whom
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 you can turn to for help.
As a result
, these are the people who you should focus on in the form of spending time, looking after them, and strengthening the bonds among family members. In conclusion, I would argue that combining the two previously mentioned elements is best.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance the Task Achievement score, it's recommended to incorporate more detailed, specific examples that clearly illustrate your points. These examples should directly relate to the topic and provide depth to your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. You can achieve this by using a variety of linking words and phrases that not only connect sentences within a paragraph but also bridge ideas between paragraphs. This will help in constructing a more cohesive argument.
General
To further improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph centers around a single main idea. This will help in maintaining clarity and focus throughout your essay, making your points more compelling to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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