The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in school programs?

In society nowadays, the arts (music,
art
, theatre)
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
still seen as crucial by the
people
. I believe that
this
is the case since many
people
are positively engaged in
this
related activity,
therefore
it should be taught in
school
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
, I believe that
art
, especially music, is still highly sought after by
people
in general. Many adolescents are having a future
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
by becoming
Change preposition
to become
show examples
well-known
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
, which is the exact reason why
this
industry always
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
to have endless talents.
Besides
adoration and its social status, music is seen as a way to unite
people
as it conveys positivity and hope, despite the different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
and languages that the
people
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
.
This
could be seen in a concert,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
Coldplay, who could always
sold
Change the verb form
sell
be sold
show examples
out their ticket in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
they have their gig on.
This
way of life and positive culture of appreciating
art
should be continued. Whilst many
people
are able to learn it outside of
school
, I believe formal
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
should be a place to nurture students' interest in
art
.
This
subject is supposed to be mandatory
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since it is highly necessary yet unfortunately not sufficiently addressed in the curriculum worldwide. In Indonesia,
for example
, it has to be taught in elementary,
however
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
optional
Correct article usage
an optional
show examples
course in high
school
. By giving
art
an equal time in the learning process, it would
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact by enhancing student well-being and developing student emotional quotient. In conclusion, I believe that the arts are still highly enjoyed by the
people
.
While
this
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
most
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
way of life, nurturing
art
through
school
should be an option as it brings positive influence for the students.
Submitted by aldawinonaz on

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task achievement
Focus on directly addressing the question prompt in your introduction and throughout your essay. Make sure to give a clear opinion on whether the arts should be included in school programs.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provide some examples, deeper insights will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas both within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, make sure to succinctly summarize your main points and restate your opinion to ensure a strong finish to your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Creativity
  • Critical thinking
  • Emotional literacy
  • Social skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Appreciation
  • Inclusive
  • Therapeutic benefits
  • Stress relief
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural economy
  • Creative fields
  • Modern lifestyles
  • School curricula
  • Cultural appreciation
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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