IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your tree time while you are in Australia

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Dear
MaDam
Correct your spelling
Madam
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 I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in response to an advertisement published
last
Linking Words
 week
on
Change preposition
in
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 one of the leading
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 family
magazine
Change to a plural noun
magazines
show examples
 where you asked for a
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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 like in caregiver for your six-year-old child .I have the right experience to take on
this
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job
Use synonyms
. Take the best
care
Use synonyms
 of your
children
Use synonyms
 and I really want to take
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 I am confident that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can serve your child well because I have experience raising several younger siblings. My sister has two small
children
Use synonyms
 , a
6 year old
Add a hyphen
6-year-old
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 boy busy with work so she entrusts them to me
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
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care
Use synonyms
 of and I feel very happy to be able to take
of
Replace the word
off
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 my two grandchildren, they are very cute and especially, I often look for information online to take
care
Use synonyms
 of my baby in the best way. Raising a child is not easy so I always find out carefully what to do when the baby cries or when the baby is hungry ,
children
Use synonyms
 are meant to be handled gently , so be patient
will
Correct your spelling
with
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 them i am a person who loves
children
Use synonyms
 very much they are very innocent By the way , recently I came from Viet Nam to visit Australia at the invitation of
mu
Correct your spelling
my
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 parents to live with them for about the next 6
moths
Correct your spelling
months
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. When I’m in Australia I want to explore
this
Linking Words
 beautiful and livable country , I want to learn about the lifestyle and culture of the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
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 here ,
besides
Linking Words
 taking
care
Use synonyms
 of your
children
Use synonyms
 if you offer me a
job
Use synonyms
 . I really want to get
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 , please give me a chance I will not
madam
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 you in me Sincerely Mrs .Nhi

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Greeting and Closing
Ensure proper use of salutations and closures in your letter. For a formal letter, consider using 'Dear Sir/Madam' and ending with 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your full name.
Logical Structure
Organize the letter into clear paragraphs with distinct purposes: introduction, reason for writing, explaining suitability, and future plans in Australia. This enhances readability and coherence.
Suitable Writing Tone
Use a more formal tone throughout the letter by avoiding conversational phrases and ensuring correct grammar and punctuation. Formal letters require a level of professionalism in language.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task by ensuring each requested point (why you want the job, suitability, and plans in Australia) is fully expanded upon with specific examples and clear explanations.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Maintain a clear focus on each paragraph's main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and develop that idea fully before moving onto the next paragraph.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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