Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Government should introduce measures to restrict ownership to those who need them for their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, having
cellphone
is increasing among Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
people
that
may Correct pronoun usage
which
cause
many problem
in case of health issues or negative impacts on Change to a plural noun
problems
public
. A number of Add an article
the public
people
argued that government authoritis
Correct your spelling
authorities
ough
to put Correct your spelling
ought
limitation
on owning personal Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
phones
. This
essay has
Add the particle
has to
disagree
statement as Wrong verb form
disagreeing
although
using smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
phones
may cause
health problem
and lack of concentration,I think Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Correct article usage
the govenment
govenment
should teach society how to benefit Correct your spelling
government
and
avoid Change preposition
from and
harmful
aspects of smartphones.
Having smartphones may Correct article usage
the harmful
cause
people
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
by
modern technology and advanced media which can help them Change preposition
with
to
not only communicate with Change preposition
apply
people
but also
they can provide whar
they want through Correct your spelling
what
online-shops
.Correct your spelling
online shops
Numerouse
Apps are designed to Correct your spelling
Numerous
making
daily life as easy as possible. By using cellphones,Wrong verb form
make
For Example
, for shopping, eighter groceries or clothes, people
are not forced to tolerate traffic jams or crowded malls. In addition
, they have a chance to check and evaluate any features ranging from price, material, and,even time of deliverty
.
bo2: Correct your spelling
delivery
On the other hand
, The more using cellphones grow up
, the less Change preposition
apply
people
can concentrate on any special topics. Attractive areas, especially in social media, would ditracted
Correct your spelling
distracted
distract
people
and may be harmful for
their eyes.Change the preposition
to
Smart
Correct your spelling
Smartphones
phones
have scary
Correct article usage
a scary
abillity
to engage Correct your spelling
ability
people
,especially adolecens and that cause
many issues such
as sitting for long
time, neck Add an article
a long
injury
and Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
in
vision. Change preposition
with
Although
,
smartphones by providing Remove the comma
apply
wild
range of accessibility may be extremely beneficial,they would Correct word choice
a wide
many
drawbacks if they Add a missing verb
have many
used
without regulation.In my opinion,Add a missing verb
were used
government
should Add an article
the government
impled
some Correct your spelling
implement
sterategies
to teach society how Correct your spelling
strategies
people
benefit their
high-tech Change preposition
from their
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
instead
of limit
Replace the word
limiting
ownerships
. Indubitably, Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
phones
are inseparable
part of daily life.
In conclusion, Add an article
an inseparable
smarphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
not
only Add a missing verb
are not
use
for some jobs, but Wrong verb form
used
also
can make life easier. Put
Wrong verb form
Putting
restriction
on them Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
are
not essential way, I think. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Instead
, government
should Add an article
the government
designed
some approaches to Change the verb form
design
be designed
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
people
how to use cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
possitively
without Correct your spelling
positively
health harming
or Add a hyphen
health-harming
lossing
concentration.Correct your spelling
losing
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Focus on structuring paragraphs with a topic sentence followed by explanation, examples, and a concluding sentence.
logical structure
The introduction should clearly present your thesis statement and briefly outline your main points. The conclusion should summarize your argument without introducing new information.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully respond to the prompt by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay. Include clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples.
supported main points
To improve clarity and readability, work on sentence structure, and avoid overly complex or overly simplified sentences. Aim for a balance that clearly conveys your argument.
relevant specific examples
Including specific, detailed examples can strengthen your arguments. These examples can be real-life situations, hypothetical scenarios, or drawn from credible sources.
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