Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Government should introduce measures to restrict ownership to those who need them for their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, having
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
is increasing among
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may
cause
many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in case of health issues or negative impacts on
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. A number of
people
argued that government
authoritis
Correct your spelling
authorities
ough
Correct your spelling
ought
show examples
to put
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
on owning personal
phones
.
This
essay
has
Add the particle
has to
show examples
disagree
Wrong verb form
disagreeing
show examples
statement as
although
using
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
may
cause
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and lack of concentration,I think
Correct article usage
the govenment
show examples
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
should teach society how to benefit
and
Change preposition
from and
show examples
avoid
harmful
Correct article usage
the harmful
show examples
aspects of smartphones. Having smartphones may
cause
people
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
modern technology and advanced media which can help them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only communicate with
people
but
also
they can provide
whar
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
they want through
online-shops
Correct your spelling
online shops
show examples
.
Numerouse
Correct your spelling
Numerous
Apps are designed to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
daily life as easy as possible. By using cellphones,
For Example
, for shopping, eighter groceries or clothes,
people
are not forced to tolerate traffic jams or crowded malls.
In addition
, they have a chance to check and evaluate any features ranging from price, material, and,even time of
deliverty
Correct your spelling
delivery
. bo2:
On the other hand
, The more using cellphones grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the less
people
can concentrate on any special topics. Attractive areas, especially in social media, would
ditracted
Correct your spelling
distracted
distract
people
and may be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their eyes.
Smart
Correct your spelling
Smartphones
show examples
phones
have
scary
Correct article usage
a scary
show examples
abillity
Correct your spelling
ability
to engage
people
,especially adolecens and that
cause
many issues
such
as sitting for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time, neck
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
and
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
vision.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
smartphones by providing
wild
Correct word choice
a wide
show examples
range of accessibility may be extremely beneficial,they would
many
Add a missing verb
have many
show examples
drawbacks if they
used
Add a missing verb
were used
show examples
without regulation.In my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
impled
Correct your spelling
implement
some
sterategies
Correct your spelling
strategies
to teach society how
people
benefit
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
high-tech
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
instead
of
limit
Replace the word
limiting
show examples
ownerships
Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
show examples
. Indubitably,
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
are
inseparable
Add an article
an inseparable
show examples
part of daily life. In conclusion,
smarphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
only
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
for some jobs, but
also
can make life easier.
Put
Wrong verb form
Putting
show examples
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
on them
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not essential way, I think.
Instead
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
designed
Change the verb form
design
be designed
show examples
some approaches to
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
people
how to use
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
possitively
Correct your spelling
positively
without
health harming
Add a hyphen
health-harming
show examples
or
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
concentration.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Focus on structuring paragraphs with a topic sentence followed by explanation, examples, and a concluding sentence.
logical structure
The introduction should clearly present your thesis statement and briefly outline your main points. The conclusion should summarize your argument without introducing new information.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully respond to the prompt by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay. Include clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples.
supported main points
To improve clarity and readability, work on sentence structure, and avoid overly complex or overly simplified sentences. Aim for a balance that clearly conveys your argument.
relevant specific examples
Including specific, detailed examples can strengthen your arguments. These examples can be real-life situations, hypothetical scenarios, or drawn from credible sources.

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