Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?
Former
criminals
who ultimately become good citizens are considered by some to be the best candidates to educate children
about the dangers of crime. I fully disagree with the opinion, because there are better candidates to educate minors and to have minors educated by ex-prisoners could be dangerous.
It is true that ex-prisoners can provide some helpful aspects about the dangers of crime to minors. However
, it is also
important to consider other role models with positive life experiences and their
expertise, who may be better equipped to inspire and guide students, Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as police
. Police are the experts Add an article
the police
of
dealing with crimes, so they Change preposition
in
conquer
a lot of knowledge, Verb problem
have
for example
, the psychology of the criminals
. Otherwise
, ex-convicts may face potential challenges after leaving prison, such
as reintegrating into society and rebuilding relationships. Based on these reasons, ex-convicts may not be the best candidates to educate children
.
On the other hand
, the recidivism rate of ex-prisoners is much higher than other citizens. What’s more, there are many former criminals
suffering from psychological problems. There are criminals
who committed
heinous crimes. It is hard for people to change their ways of thinking. These Wrong verb form
commit
evidences
indicate that letting former Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
criminals
educate children
may be dangerous. Once a crime happened
in a school, there Wrong verb form
happens
would
be many students hurt, which is the consequence people can not afford.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
will
this
essay disagrees, because not only people like police are in a better position to guide students, but also
to have children
educated by ex-convicts is dangerous.Submitted by kbyyzyqb on
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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying sentence structure to enhance fluency and readability. Repetitive structures can make the essay seem less engaging. Try using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
Focus on fully developing your main points with specific examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and all sentences should contribute to this idea. Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Keep refining the logical flow of your essay. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your thoughts more smoothly. Use them to link sentences and paragraphs together cohesively.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both sides of the argument or by providing a more nuanced stance if you choose to take a clear position. Reflect this in your thesis statement and throughout your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Doing so not only makes your argument more convincing but also demonstrates your ability to use evidence effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.