Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be dome. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #home #fear #crime #action #dome

Numerous individuals have refused to step out of their houses

due to

constant fear of being attacked.

Although

a lot of folks think nothing can be done to save the situation because it is impossible to withdraw guns from the streets, some others reckon that effective measures can be enforced to eradicate lawlessness in the community by reintroducing capital punishment. I completely agree with

this

deterrent measure.

This

essay will discuss both views and my opinion. On the one hand, the masses think that all hope is lost and security is beyond the control of the government because it is practically impossible to retrieve all the guns roaming the streets.

For instance

, in the United States, we have seen the number of gun violence incidents surge over the years, which are mostly fatal with little or no solution at hand. Sadly, the populace who has experienced

such

incidents will never believe things can ever get better.

Therefore

this

is why people believe that nothing can be done to salvage the situation.

On the other hand

, some individuals believe more could be achieved if the states reinstate capital punishment to deter offenders.

For example

, we all know that the Middle

east

Capitalize word

East

show examples

has minimal levels of crimes which is basically because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

an immediate death sentence is the

consequences

Fix the agreement mistake

consequence

show examples

of any lawlessness. Clearly, no one in their right mind would continue to commit crimes

due to

the fear of being put to death.

Thus

, why criminal activities

wil

Correct your spelling

will

still be definitely eroded. In my opinion, applying enough force to bring criminal activities under control is not a thing of the past. Since more severe discipline will deter the public, keep violence under check and the community safe. In conclusion, many people are afraid to leave their homes, since they could be attacked.

While

some folks believe that things are out of control

due to

the fact it is not possible to withdraw all the guns in society. Others suppose

otherwise

because capital punishment should serve as a deterrent to all crimes, I strongly support

this

idea. After a thorough analysis of

this

topic, I would recommend that the leaders should act fast to ensure the community is safe again.

Submitted by Eby on Sat Mar 02 2024

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task response

To improve your essay's task response, it is crucial to provide balanced coverage of both views before stating your opinion. Make sure to explore each viewpoint in detail and support them with relevant examples or evidence. Your own opinion should be clear and well explained, ideally integrated throughout the essay as well as clearly stated in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on structuring your paragraphs clearly, with a single main idea per paragraph that is fully developed and supported. Transition smoothly between sentences and ideas using a variety of linking words, and ensure that the relation between paragraphs is clear to the reader. Including an introductory sentence for each paragraph can also help in guiding the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

366 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be dome. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays,most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think that advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

: It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Young generations prefer to marry and have children when they become 30 and above and they no longer start their marriage and family life at a young age. Do you agree with this?