the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014
The chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
information about the amount of total electric
expandation
Correct your spelling
expansion
for production and consumption in the top ten countries in 2014.
Overall
,
it is clear that
there is
noticeable
Correct word choice
a difference
show examples
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
the two categories of
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
. China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States had total electricity used much
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
others.
In addition
, Korea. Rep was the countries
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
the lowest
kWh
over the period. Details, the amount of
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
spent for production and consumption
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
China was the largest, about 5,396
kWh
and 5322
kWh
respectively.
Moreover
, the second rank was the United States with about 1000
kWh
less in both categories.
By contrast
, Russia, Japan and India had nearly a third to compare with the US, approximately 900
kWh
for production and consumption share
On the other hand
, Canada, France and Brazil had 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
less than
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
group, followed by Germany and
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
were the lowest categories in both types of electric use.
Submitted by hoaan2409 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words kwh with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: