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Writing Samples
Band 6

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014
#bar #ten #countrie #production #consumption #electricity
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The chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 information about the amount of total electric
expandation
Correct your spelling
expansion
 for production and consumption in the top ten countries in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there is
noticeable
Correct word choice
a difference
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in
Change preposition
between
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 the two categories of
chart
Add an article
the chart
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. China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States had total electricity used much
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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 others.
In addition
Linking Words
, Korea. Rep was the countries
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
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 the lowest
kWh
Use synonyms
 over the period. Details, the amount of
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
 spent for production and consumption
of
Change preposition
in
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 China was the largest, about 5,396
kWh
Use synonyms
 and 5322
kWh
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second rank was the United States with about 1000
kWh
Use synonyms
 less in both categories.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Russia, Japan and India had nearly a third to compare with the US, approximately 900
kWh
Use synonyms
 for production and consumption share
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Canada, France and Brazil had 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 less than
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 group, followed by Germany and
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
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 were the lowest categories in both types of electric use.
Submitted by hoaan2409 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • gigawatt hours (GWh)
  • renewable energy sources
  • non-renewable energy sources
  • industrialization
  • economic activities
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainability
  • energy efficiency
  • power generation
  • grid capacity
  • energy policies
  • consumption patterns
  • energy demand
  • production-consumption disparity
  • environmental impact
  • greenhouse gas emissions
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