IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that the best way to help poor countries is financial aids. Other say other forms of aid should be given. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 believe that giving financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 to poor countries is a good way to help them. Others,
however
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, deem that there are other kinds of aid which can sum up against poor nations' plight. In
this
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 essay, we will analyse these two different points of view and
then
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, my opinion will be given. One of the most
difunded
Correct your spelling
difficult
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to solve some
problem
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problems
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 is investing
money
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on
Change preposition
in
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 measures which are capable
for
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of
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 decreasing bad circumstances.
For example
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, if a country is suffering
for
Change preposition
from
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of water, others can send them an amount to finance pit
constructions
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construction
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. It is a measure which
have
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has
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 practical effects on the
reallity
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reality
 and because of that, many
poeple
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people
 believe that it is the best way to deal with
such
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situation
Correct article usage
a situation
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.
On the other hand
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, advocates of helping others with another kind of aid, say that in many cases, giving
money
Use synonyms
 is not the best solution. For them, several times
this
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 financial help does not achieve the real
propose
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purpose
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 because of the corruption engrained in the local management. Because of
it
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this
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, most of
this
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money
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 lost and
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does
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
arrives
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arrive
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Change preposition
at
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in
Change preposition
at
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 its destination, which in fact is a huge problem faced by underdeveloped nations.
Moreover
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, aids have to be thought to achieve the root of the problem and
than
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then
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,
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 it be ceased.
For instance
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, in places where are
accurring
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occurring
 war, humanitarian aids are much more positive than giving them
money
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, it is possible to note that both points of view have their motivations to believe that they have the best solution. In my opinion,
nonetheless
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, the measure to be taken depends on each case. We have to look
to
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at
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 each reality and see the possibilities and how the aid can provide an effective impact on the circumstance.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It's helpful to have sentence connectors and transitions for a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in making your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.
general
Work on spelling and punctuation. Misspellings and incorrect punctuation can distract from your message. Use tools or have someone proofread your work if possible.
general
Practice varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement for the reader.
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