Nowadays people are not fit and active as before. These will have negative effect in the future health. What are the reasons and solutions to this issue?

#people #effect #future #health

It is thought that nowadays people are unfit and non-active compared to the bygone days which is detrimental to their future.

This

essay will delve into possible reasons and put forward some practical solutions to address

this

issue

. First and foremost, one of the obvious reasons for

this

issue

unhealthy

Add an article

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle. In detail, in the concurrent world, people have hectic

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

due to

the high competition.

As a result

, the masses do not have sufficient time for physical activities.

For example

, it is true that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

in Canada have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

significantly declined memberships in

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

few years

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

the population is on the increase.

Besides

, high consumption of fast food affects the

health

of the

populate

Replace the word

population

show examples

This

is because influence of advertisements and

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifstyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

As a consequence

, diseases

such

as diabetic mellitus and hypertension are prevalent among the people.

Nevertheless

although

reducing physical activities and bad diet are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

commonplace, there are some practical solutions to tackle

this

issue

Change preposition

show examples

a great extent. Business establishments should initiative to promote

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

and well-being of the staff. By doing

this

companies can increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity.

Moreover

, governments should promote public

health

by facilitating more fitness

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

as well as

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities.

The public

Correct article usage

Public

show examples

awareness

Add a verb

awareness is

awareness was

show examples

also

vital to control

this

In other words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness about

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy diet and physical exercises should be prioritised.

In addition

campaign

Fix the agreement mistake

campaigns

show examples

for home cultivation of vegetables

imporve

Correct your spelling

improve

not only physical

health

but

also

mental

health

. In conclusion, lack of

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

and poor diet

due to

the feverish lifestyle are the major

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

this

issue

However

, promoting exercise by government and private organisations

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the best way to tackle

this

issue

Submitted by ck.manshad on Sat Mar 02 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the question. This helps in providing a clearer roadmap for the essay.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples by adding more specific details or data to support your reasoning. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve flow and cohesion throughout paragraphs. However, ensure that these transitions are natural and don’t disrupt the readability of the essay.

Task Achievement

For a more sophisticated argument, consider exploring counterarguments or showing different perspectives on the issue before stating your conclusion. It would heighten the critical thinking displayed in your essay.

General Advice

Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos. Though they are not numerous, polishing your essay can improve its overall professionalism.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people are not fit and active as before. These will have negative effect in the future health. What are the reasons and solutions to this issue?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in the correct places. What is your opinion about it?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more walking?

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal .some people,however, think other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that homework should not be given to school children. others, however, say that homework is an important requirement for children to be able to develop appropriately. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.